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anonymous
writes: Hi, there is this girl who I fancy and she fancies me (she told me) but she said no when I asked her out. All my mates knew I was going to ask her out. When they asked what she said, I said she said yes cause they would laugh at me if they knew she had turned me down. She's becoming suspicious of me and i don't want her to know I told my mates. WHAT SHOULD I DO???? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2005): Find the hell why she said no, the try to work on it. Try and make her see that you should be together and if it don't work and she has a good reason why not wantin to, the tell your mates that she said no and then tell you she did or say she thought that she wasn't good enough for you. It might work.Best of luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2005): You need to find out why she said no! If you both like each other, there's no reason why she shouldn't want to go out with you. As for your friends you should have more faith in them! You should tell them the truth because there your friends and if this girl finds out you told your friends you're going out, she will not be able to trust you.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 March 2005):
 I probably don't have to tell you it was a mistake telling your mates a lie about her response, just to save face. But in case you're unsure: yes, that was a mistake.A better reply to your mates would have been, 'No, she knocked me back, but that's okay. I might ask her again some other time.' It's about confidence, both with the girl you're asking out and with your own friends. The real question here is, Why would you care what your mates think? Are every one of them 100% successful with girls, 100% of the time? I kind of doubt it, in fact, I suspect they're ribbing you to cover for their own insecurities. What this shows is that you're just about on par with them and you shouldn't worry too much about impressing guys who are in exactly the same boat as you. Shrug off their kidding and you'll feel better.But back to the girl. You will ALWAYS do better with the truth than with a lie in these situations. Go back to her, try to get her somewhere quiet and tell her exactly what happened. For example: "You know the other day when I asked you out..? My mates were giving me a hard time and I told them that you'd said Yes, just to get them off my back. I'm sorry. I was a bit afraid of them saying I struck out with you and I wasn't thinking clearly. Do you know what I mean?"She's bound to be a bit annoyed about the fib, but if anything, you'll be slightly more endearing to her on some level because you wanted to give your friends the impression that she was a real prize. Believe me, girls pick up on hinted compliments! So don't worry about it. Just don't waste any time telling her the truth and apologising for your lapse in judgement.Good luck!
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