A
female
age
41-50,
*ris7124
writes:my husband and i have been together for 7 years. i remember when i met him, i felt like i had found the love of my life. here i am 7 years later wondering if he still is. my husband is a great guy. hes not abusive, hes not an alcoholic, he doesnt do drugs, he doesnt get lost after work, very family oriented, a great father to our children, let me quit my job of 7 years so i could stay home with my children...sounds perfect right? so why am i sitting here wondering if im still in love with this man.for over a year i have suffered from depression, im on medication, ive seen a therapist for myself and have done marriage counseling. i have major mood swings and im just moody all the time. we were good for a while. it seemed like maybe the air was finaly clearing up. then this past summer we went on vacation with my family and lets just say him and i argued everyday of it. i dont really know why. we got back from vacation, and things just went downhill. we went back to arguing, i started distancing myself, sex turned into never for us. ive tried talking to him. he turns it around on me saying that i shouldnt have any complaints he gives me whatever i want.then one day in august i was bored at home, was on the computer, entered in a chat room and met a guy that till this day has turned my world upside down. i have totally fallen for this guy. but i know him and i would never really happen. he lives on the other side of the world. but him and i have gotten emotionally involved to the point where he has said he loves me....and i can sincerely say that i love him too. we have shared intimate things with each other. he knows im married. he has a fiance. but we love each others company. we share love for music, movies, were both stubborn, we have had are arguments and our make up conversations are just great.recently though i have been thinking about calling it off just because i feel like im setting myself up for a major fall with him. i mean...he has a finace and im married. so here are my questions...i have tried with my husband...what more is there for me to do? and even though i know my relationship with my online lover will never go any further than chatting, should i continue? and if not...which im pretty sure im gonna be told...how do i let him go if i still love him? ive tried and tried telling him its over, and every time i do i get cold feet and i dont want to let him go. i love him...im so confused.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): This guy is a FANTASY. If you invested the same amount of time in your husband as this man, I think your marriage would be what you want. If this guy was your husband on line, you'd fall in love with him all over again. (because there's no problems-just romancing) It must be family issues that you both aren't solving or dealing with. You're taking each other for granted, and that kills intimacy in a marriage. Start fresh. Every day think of the things you're thankful for...life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent attitude.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 Hi Hunny
This on-line lover of your makes you feel alive again YES!!!!!You hate the person you turn into when its just you and your husband..
Hunny when we are with someone for awhile and life gets us down we can get into a depression that even we as ourselves no not what its all about, We will make up stuff in our head continually saying we are not happy to confirm our fears and thought patterns and when we do this we start to believe it and get down, low, and moody....
Carrying on with this other person in your life is not going to make you want to sort your marriage out properly and its great that your husband said you could stay at home with the children but do you not think that we all need some adult space for awhile to do something that makes us feel good..I think that way about my job be it part time or not.
You have everything in your life you could so wish for that you have to much time to think its driven you to depression...WHO ARE YOU? You are a mum! You are a wife! BUT YOU ARE ALSO AN INDIVIDUAL!!!!
I no you said you have been to counsellors and you are on medication, I've been there myself. The question here is DO YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND?
You say your sitting there asking yourself this question, Only you can give yourself this answer..Im going to send you a link on self esteem love I think it would be good if you concentrated on you for awhile not your on-line lover or everyone around but you!!!!Of course sweetheart I understand you have to take care of family but sometimes we loose track of ourselves and what is important to us and what we would like to do to make us feel good.....
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
Work on you for awhile try and figure out what you really need from life and when you feel more positive about your own self then you will be able to make the right decisions for you PLEASE TAKE CARE HUNNY WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): There's more than one type of love. The love it sounds like you have for your online lover is only friendship. You enjoy conversation with this person. Talk to him and tell him your fears and tell him you want to be friends but both of you need to focus on your respective relationships (yes it will hurt). As for your husband. You've got a great one. I think you realize what you have, what sort of man he is. Dont pick little fights sometiems you just have to bite your tounge. Go find your husband right now and kiss his temple and tell him you love him deeply.
Go now!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): Hello,
I would do what is best for the family and dump this "online lover". I know this may sound mean but for all we know this "online lover" could be a 75 year old man or even a female! Try to spend more time with your husband you might grow to love him angin.
- Caring Person
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