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Left out and not included

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Question - (29 December 2021) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2022)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

a couple of years ago, I joined a working mens club and at first everything seemed to be okay and people were wanting to play snooker with me. as the months have passed, not a single person wants to play a game and I’m always on the sidelines. they say I’m too good a player for them or that I cheat. find it hurtful that they say those kind of things and it’s been getting me down since. it makes me question things and when I go to the club to play. it seems to be an often current and it just seems to happen each time I go to the club. since, I have not been down and I just keep myself to myself.

why has this happened to me?

hope you’re able to help.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2022):

Is your goal to win snooker or to make friends? If it is to make friends, loose on purpose a few times. If it is to win, find somewhere else to play.

Why are they accusing you of cheating? Do you win ALL of the games? If yes, then that’s definitely suspicious and I don’t blame them. Just tone it down if you want friends.

If you are not cheating and want real friends who don’t accuse you, fo elsewhere.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021):

Typo correction:

"These guys probably have their own well-established clique; and you're [too] much competition against their average skills."

P.S.

New-comers or out-of-towners are often received with suspicion and distrust in small towns or villages. If you're not a local, that could also be part of the problem here. As I've previously suggested, don't take it personally. Just go find another club, possibly with players more at your skill level.

Always read the room, test the general attitude of the crowd. Friendly or snobbish? Bigoted, or tolerant of strangers and foreigners? Stick-around only as long as you feel welcomed and comfortable. When you win, show good sportsmanship; don't make your opponent feel small, or show-off. Be humble. You want to make friends; but being a braggart or a big show-off will do just the opposite.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021):

Sorry, accidentally hit the send button!

I meant to say:

Sometimes we let our competitive spirit make us seem cocky or condescending, without realizing it. If you've placed bets on the table, and you win a lot; you will be suspected of being a hustler. If you're over-joyed about winning, and never project a humble and reserved attitude regarding your exceptional skills; guys just won't like your cockiness.

Move on, and don't take it personally. It's not worth it, it's just the wrong club for you.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (29 December 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWorking men's clubs are generally easy going and relaxed. If you are competitive when you play snooker - and also quite good - then perhaps this is not the best environment for you. Nobody likes to play with someone who is in a completely different league as they know they have no chance of winning.

Perhaps you need to look for a venue which better suits your talents, where the snooker players are of a higher standard and more competitive? There must be a snooker club nearby, or some other venue which better caters for someone like you.

Not sure why they accuse you of cheating. ARE you? Nobody likes a cheater, at any level. It is better to play and lose on your own merit than to win by cheating.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021):

Male-ego and jealousy seems to be the issue here. These guys probably have their own well-established clique; and you're to much competition against their average skills. It's a thing these days to be a winner at any cost. Accusing the other guy of cheating, rather than accepting a loss with sportsmanship and good sense of fair-play. Don't stay where you feel like an outsider or not wanted. Find another club.

Sometimes we let our competitive spirit make us seem cocky or condescending, without realizing. If

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