A
female
age
30-35,
*ubbletea
writes:im in a ldr situation. my boyfriend and i plan to have vacation together. but theres an arguing thing about me and him like i want to go to beach but he knows it that i want to go there but he always asking me if i really want to go and why i like it there.. i can say that the beach house is really expensive. and i think he doesnt want to go there because hes the one will pay for it.its ok i understand. but he wants something that he wants to go somewhere like mountain climbing, its ok for me even though its hard for me to go up there and spend 7 days at the camp. i dont know its really ok with me to postpone our vacation in hawai, instead to go with his trip. im just a liitle dissapointed because i know we plan it before and he said yes to it. now hes questioning me if i really want it, obviously i want it thats why i brought it up, i dont know how to deal with him.?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2012):
 he who pays gets to choose.... he's paying so it's his choice.
let him go without you if you don't like camping... and you save up and go to the beach by yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): If he's paying for the holiday then he gets to say where it is, end of story. If you're paying for half of it then you should reach a compromise and do something you'll both like. But the person who pays has the final say, if you don't like what you'll be doing on your free holiday then don't go.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 July 2012):
 Why is he paying for all of it? Why can't you split it? Also why is Hawaii, one of the most expensive places to get a beach house, your only beach option? Even further, why is renting a house, the most expensive option, your first choice? That's like saying you want a new pair of shoes and going to Saks 5th Ave rather than heading to Target.
There are many places where you can hang out on the beach for WAY less money. Look on Kayak.com for cheap vacation package deals to places that may not have been the top of your list, but are worth looking into based on price. Livingsocial has vacation package deals everyday. It's a good mix of beach, urban, mountains, and international destinations.
You both sound like you're acting very petty. You want to spend a pile of money on Hawaii, and so he has decided to pick a vacation he knows you don't want to participate in as revenge. If you both want this relationship to work, you need to learn to compromise. Like go someplace in the mountains, but stay at a nice lodge in a cute town rather than camping.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (4 July 2012):
 Couldn't you find someplace cheaper to stay instead of a beach house, or help him pay for half of it? I think it's kind of unreasonable for him to be the only one paying for the accomodations. Even if you were married and both had jobs, you would both be paying for any trips you would take. Is there anyplace you could actually camp and/or go mountain climbing in Hawaii for a day or two? You will get him to come around when you make the trip seem like the two of you are taking and planning it instead of you being the only one planning it. You need to make it more appealing to him and find some things that he likes to do such as hiking or whatever. I am sure there are plenty of places to hike in Hawaii and possibly even camp. I would not want to be the sole person responsible for paying for an entire vacation with someone I don't see very often. Sorry, but I just wouldn't. And, if it was someplace I really did not want to go, that would make it even worse. I'd have to pay for someplace where I did not want to go in the first place. See what kind of compromises you could make with him and also see if there are any things/activities that would interest him in Hawaii.
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