A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my husband have been married 7 yrs this yr with 1 child from my 1st marraige whos 11, and one from our marriage who's 6, just lately i don't know what's happened, we seem to argue constantly, we sit on opposite sides of the room, we spend no time together, and we don't have sex anymore, i'm angry towards him but i don't know why, i want to save my marraige but i just don't know where to begin, i feel very suffocated within the marraige as he makes a lot of fuss of me, too much, i'm a very independant person, and i like it that way, or am i being to nasty???? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Sometimes communication is difficult; sometimes we don't know how to express ourselves, but often we cannot put our finger on what is really troubling us.
I suggest you start making a list:
Of all the things you don't likeabout your husband; all the things that is bugging you; irritating you; hurting you; frustrating you.
THEN
you make a list of all the things you really like about your husband; all the things you value and appreciate; that he does that makes you happy;
Think for a day or two whislt making these lists;
write every detail down as you go alaong.( Everything from samll to important).
When you have your two lists completed; start to prioritize each item on each list in order of what is more important to what is less important.
Make a mental note of the top 3 on each list and rember them, then put the list awy somewhere safe.
Either invite your husband to a nice romantic dinner and discuss these issues with him, tell him first about the 3 things you really love and appreciate and then mention the other 3; otherwise surprise him with a nice romantic dinner at home,(that is normally the most succesfull) dress up, some soft romantic music, candles the entire thing, and do the same.
Give him time to respond on each of these things and listen to his comments.
You will be surprised how this will help you to communicate what you want and what you dont want.
Work through your entire list in time, gruadually maybe every second week, but I believe everything will be well on track long before you get to the end of your list.
(Then destroy the list)
Enjoy a second HONEYMOON!
A
male
reader, wildman  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Why do you feel suffocated by the marriage after seven years? Has something changed resently or has it been that way since the beginning?
Maybe you are kind of angry at yourself and taking it out on him. Maybe you need to unstress your life a little to sort things out. I would try to work on it for your sake and your two children. good luck to you
...............................
|
