A
female
age
36-40,
*icksy
writes:Hey guys i would really appreciate some help with this one. If it is long i apologise but going into detail might make it clearer to you. A few weeks ago a dear friend of my got back in touch after a long time and after talking etc we realised we had feelings for each other. At that time i was pregnant with someones child but a couple of days later i miscarried. This guy was my rock helping me through it. I hadnt seen him for a long long time as he lives in Birmingham and me Sunderland. ANyway we met up last weekend and it was amazing, he even told me he loved me. A few days ago i was in a certain mood and needed to talk and the subject got onto kids. I no it was to soon to talk about it but it had to be done. Things were normal and the talking/texts continued as usual, then yesterday when he was at work i didnt hear from him which i thought was strange and my gut instinct told me something was wrong. This morning i sent him his morning txt and eventually got a reply saying sorry it was over, best i no now sorry for hurting me and if i want to go away to work again next yr then i can and good luck for the future. I replied asking what he was on about and why and he said the recent conversations were to much for him and i explained that it wasnt what i wanted yet just one day in teh future. I have been more dependant on him than i usually would but he understands that and with recent circumstances etc. Im so confused as to why, he only yesterday told me he loved me and that he wanted us to be together forever!!Do you have any idea as to what is going on with him and what i can do to get him back as i really do love him?
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male
reader, metalsman +, writes (7 November 2009):
 I think you've answered your own question here in what you wrote:
Quote 1: At that time I was pregnant with someones child.
Quote 2: I no it was to soon to talk about it but it had to be done.
Quote 3: he said the recent conversations were too much for him.
Just in case you've missed those vital points i'll try to elaborate what i think are the issues he has.
1. He doesn't want to tie up with anyone who is prepared to have just "someones" child..more than likely he wants someone who is dedicated to having "his" child.
2. Within a short period of having a miscarriage (which must be hard to come to terms with) you're back on the subject again, to him maybe seemingly with little time for you to have grieved and got over the trauma - this makes him question your capacity for value.
3. With no.1 & 2 above this means he doesn't want to take all this on board.
A
female
reader, kerrydean +, writes (7 November 2009):
Hi i am going through the exact same thing me and bf have been together 2 and a half year and 6 weeks ago we were looking at rings and mortgages now he says its over doesnt want to do that bf/gf thing. he is the love of my life and i dont think am going to get over it but i have family and friends around me and they are helping just dont text or call and if he feels the same he will come back.
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