A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a few questions for the women. Before I ask them, though, I just wanted to say I know not ALL women are like this. I've noticed quite a lot are, though. First question: Why do you think that if you don't have big boobs, or you have fat in other places than your boobs means you're not beautiful? Second question: Why do you criticize other women who have "imperfect" bodies and/or faces? The reason I ask the second question is because I've noticed that women criticize each others' appearance way more than men do. They also compare themselves to other women more. Yet somehow, those women still think that men are responsible for their low self esteem. Again, I know not all women do this, but it seems like the amount that do is too many. Anyway, I actually had my husband do a "study" to see if I was right about women being more critical of other women than men. I had him take a picture of me, and show it around to men and women of all ages at our local outdoor mall, asking them what they think. (I'm not your "stereotypical" beautiful woman, so I knew my picture would be perfect for the study). I also had him take along a second picture of a different girl, one who IS stereotypically beautiful,(long blonde hair, big boobs, and tanned skin). He told them he was taking a class, and doing a study on perception. He got responses about my picture from men who appeared to be in their twenties and thirties such as "She's pretty, I'd date her", or "she's cute, but not my type". One man who was older said I was a "foxy redhead". As for the teenage boys, some of them were a little vulgar in their responses, but still complimented my appearance, none-the-less. No boy or man had anything insulting to say about me, even if I wasn't someone they would consider. When he showed young men the blonde woman, some of the same men who said I wasn't their type said she was hot. The ones who said they would date me weren't impressed by the blonde's picture, but they still didn't go out of their way to insult her. They just said things like there's nothing really unique or special about her. One said he hated implants, but she was okay otherwise. On the other hand, most of the women he asked were very rude in responding to my picture. They said things such as "Blech, she has a big nose", or "I'm way better than her", or "I can tell she's one of those ugly girls who thinks she's hot". These were mainly teenage girls to early twenties women who said these things. After this happened, my husband was curious to see if they would also insult a woman with a "perfect" body and face. He pulled out the second picture to ask them about, the one of the blonde woman. Their responses were very different. They said things like "wow she's sooo gorgeous", or "she could have any guy she wanted", and "I wish I looked like her". My husband also said the older women had more interesting responses about my picture such as "wild child", and one said I had a "mischevious" look in my eyes. When he showed them the blonde woman, they weren't impressed like the young women were. They either said she was too fake looking, or she was "trying too hard". I found the whole thing very interesting. Girls and young women were VERY critical of my appearance. I just listed the examples I remember. So to all you women who insult other women, why do you do it? And why do you praise women who DO have the "perfect" body? I'm just curious.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): I think it has a lot to do with the media and how they talk about women. Not a day goes by where a celebrity isn't being slated for their size, either too big or small, or for wearing the 'wrong' thing and I think it has an effect on how we view ourselves and others. Constantly being subjected to judgement like that is going to sink in one way or another Its very sad that this is the way things are though. I find myself thinking mean things sometimes too and I wouldn't class myself as a mean person at all.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 February 2013):
 Oh this one is simple (at least to my 50 something brain)
younger women are insecure and one of the ways they make themselves feel better about themselves is to put down the competition.
FWIW you deemed a tanned big breasted blonde as stereotypically beautiful, but the truth is most of the men I know would not find a tanned blonde attractive.... they don't like blondes.
Using your own photo also skewed the results.... better to have picked to random women....
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (26 February 2013):
 I would say that women's reactions to each other can be attributed to magazines (among other things like daytime TV or soapies etc). Why? Well men don't usually read magazines and if they do, they don't read the ones which participate in celebrity put downs like "Oh she's obese" when in actual fact she's only gained a few kilos and still looks healthy. Men don't read the magazines where people with a certain body image are worshipped and people with other body types are ridiculed. Same with older women. I'm pretty sure they didn't have horrible gossip magazines like we have now, back in their youthful days, so they're less judgemental.Why do some women judge other women? Probably because they worship the magazine and probably because they hang out with other women who do the same and they just think it's normal.It's time we encourage people out there to find some more intelligent things to read. Of course there are other things out there which influence ideas of body image but magazines just seem more evil to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): I think you are going to find that if you want to have a "study" that requires people to critique others, you are going to get what you wanted, critiques. People get critiqued all the time, especially publicly, those in the limelight such as actors, musicians, film-makers, writers. Good and bad, and they just have to let it roll off like a duck's back. No offense, but if you don't want stupid answers, don't ask stupid questions. If you are going to put yourself in a scenario where you are allowing people to judge you based on nothing more than looks, you are going to get an array of responses, good and bad. So a bunch of teenagers made negative comments about your picture. Well teenagers can be immature and oftentimes mean. Goes for both boys and girls alike. So from that you are generalizing that ALL women are mean and critical of each other? I don't get it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): Good question! I guess because women are tough self critics, and they hold other women to the same level of criticism as they do themselves. To be honest, I wouldn't bag out another woman for having a big nose, or being overweight etc, but I probably would be critical if they looked like they had had too much plastic surgery or looked really fake. But that's just me!
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