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Keeping my distance from him has only made my heart grow fonder! What do I do?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2007)
A female Canada age 36-40, *emprincess885 writes:

I'm 21 and I think I'm in love with this man who is quite a bit older than me, I dont know what to do because when I see him my heart totally goes out to him, but he is married. I talked to some of my friends about it, and one of them keeps telling me not to think about him but that just makes it worse and I want him more. I think about him a lot and I wish I could turn off my emotions but that's not possible. What's harder is I think he's attracted to me too but he's too honorable to ever act inappropriately. It's surprising to me but despite the age gap we seem very compatible (not just physically but we share the same sense of humour) and it's obvious he enjoys talking to me. I don't know what to do , I tried keeping distance, but in my case it made the heart fonder. Any opinions out there?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007):

Yes, you HAVE to stop thinking you're in love with him and turn your attention to other things! He is as the others have said, married. This means his first priority (his only priority in fact) is to his wife and children.

For him to form a close friendship with you would not be fair to them, to you or to himself. It would be cheating -even if nothing physical was involved. An "emotional" affair still means putting your energy and attraction where it doesn't belong.

You say "whenever I see him." Well, the way to get over this is to not go places where he is likely to be! If you see him at work, you should do no more than say good morning or hi, when you see him, but have no conversation other than that - UNLESS its work-related and unavoidable. There must be lots of other eligible young guys out there for you to meet and date, and that's what I recommend you do.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (29 January 2007):

kenny agony auntI agree with eyeswideopen, stay away from this guy he is a married man. Chances are he won't leave his wife, and you will end up as his bit on the side.

Go for a single guy, there are lots out there.

Good luck x

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (29 January 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntMy opinion is that you keep your distance whether your heart grows fonder or not. He's married...end of story. Get some hobbies.

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