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female
,
anonymous
writes: My ex and I broke up about a month ago. Things hadn't been good for about 5 months prior to the break-up. I found out he had a myspace account he had been hiding from me and has it set as private so I can't even view it. There were also alot of girls in the picture ( Calling him, hanging out etc.) I found out on my own. He always told me he loved me and wanted to marry me and then out of the blue he broke up with me and said he didnt want to have to tell me everytime he talked to another female. I've changed my number since but i'm wondering what happend to our relationship. After the break-up he wanted us to talk daily but no title and no promise for a commitment in the future.. Any ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): Same thing happened to me last week. I broke my leg and my boyfriend was coming around my house to help me with showers and feeding me.I was a bit fed up of watching tely so went on the internet and started 'googling' my name. I couldn't find anything about me so I started googling his name. Lots of website were listed as results. Most of which were of dating websites. He set up the accounts about 3 months ago with a picture that I had taken of him in Spain.I was completely shocked. I didn't know whether to slash my wrists and let life finish for me or ask him why he did it.I texted him saying that he didn't need to come around that day and I e-mailed him all the links for the dating sites.I called him last saturday asking why he's done it. And he replied that it was a 'set up' for me to find him cos he 'knew' I was looking for dates!His best way of defending himself was attacking me. He knows that I have never ever betrayed ANY of my boyfriends, including himself. When I am in a relationship I never ever flert, date on the net, etc. Loyalty for me is everything.Unfortunately he wasn't the first one to do this to me and I arrived to the conclusion that if you don't do it to them first they will do it to you soon enough. So next time I get a boyfriend, I will cheat on him endlessly, then he will give me some appreciation.I might only be saying it because I am upset. In all honesty I just wanted to have my boyfriend coming around, saying how sorry he was for cheating on me, getting us some councelling, asking me to marry him, actually marry me, making two kids and living forever happy.I miss him and I am hurting.
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (8 October 2006):
 Hey,
if he's around other girls, dumped you out of the blue and then can suddenly ditch his commitment ideas I say move on. He obviously can't value you enough to break up with your properly and give a valid reason!I say you take a break from guys for a bit and then when you feel ready get back into the dating game. Find someone who wants to be with you and whom you love yo be with. You'll heal over time.
Hope this helped,
Phoebe xxxxx
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