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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in love with a married and i don't know what to do, i really love the guy but i don't want to be a home wracker, but what do i do cause i really have strong feelings for the guy, i didn't know that he was married when i meet him and i have just recently found out (when he told me), i don't know i just need help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Can I just point out that there is nothing in the post to definitely show they are or have been in a relationship .. could be they know each other but aren't involved although she likes him a lot. Please just don't automatically assume it's another cheating married man. (Of course, perhaps she just didn't include that bit ..)
Anyway I agree there is no future. Move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): You are in a bad situation, hun. I cannot express that enough to you. I'm not sure how you reacted when he told you this news, but if it had been me--I would've been pissed off. I hope you are not expressing hurt when you should be angry with what he has done to you. Because as long as you are hurt, you won't take any proactive steps in escaping from this bad situation with a man who has lied to you and has displayed glaringly poor character traits, front and center.
Give yourself permission to feel a righteous anger...do not substitute hurt and depression for that. In depression, we cave and accept the situation in a passive way. It is far healthier of you to stand up to him and tell him the injustice he has done to his wife (and family) and to you. Don't accept this and continue to suffer causing your guilt to eat you alive. You are setting yourself up for continues suffering with a man who has proven to you...he is a liar and will likely do the same thing to you, in the future. A woman should never yield to another person;s selfishness and that is exactly what this is. Tell him you are angry with what he's done..act on that (I don't mean to smack him on the head) I mean ..tell him you are looking for a man with integrity and honor and he simply doesn't fit the bill. And never blame yourself by calling yourself a home wrecker, dear. Put the blame where it belongs..give it back to him and walk away for good. Take care my dear and be strong.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 December 2006):
 Just walk away, no future here, he belongs to someone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): You only found out know. How sly is he!!! He kept that from you. He met you knowing that he was married and knowing that you didn't know. What else will he keep from you in the future? He is married so run like hell. How would you feel if you were the wife and had that done to you? I'll tell you - sh*te!!!!
Come on girl, get a grip, get away from him now before he wrecks everyones life!
Take care
xx
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