A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was sexually abused when i was a child so i have very little trust in men as i've got older the guys i've dated have been abusive and cheated on me. Now i'm at the stage where i just can't trust, i've finally met a guy who treats me like a princess, so loyal to me and not abusive but i just can't trust him the way i should. Now he's left me saying he can't be in a relationship with no trust i'm heart broken i want him back (we are now friends) but i don't know how. I've tried to trust but i just cant. I'm 20yrs old, i don't wanna be on my own forever.
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female
reader, kez411 +, writes (30 July 2009):
 you have let your ex boyfriends get to you, they have ruined your one chance of having a happy relationship..
tell him that you want another chance... tell him some personall things,, tell him some truth and you will gain trust wiht him.. it also helps if you ask eachother personal questions and get to know eachother very well..
good luck bbe xxx
A
male
reader, jj.  +, writes (30 July 2009):
first of all ,give thanks to God that your 20 years old..then realize that you have a life time to enjoy life and then take alook at getting some counseling and get a brand new lease on life ..your in a place i wished i was..truly i do..now on ward to your situation..trust..i was in a relationship where this women i loved ..was the same way as you ..she was sexually abused and all her previous relationships were hell ,hurt and pain..until i came to her rescue.well everything went all right until 3/4 of the way into our being together she cheated on me. and ended up with the same garbage that she had been violated by earlier..why did she do it you ask???guess what she was following a pattern,,she didnt know how to change.what happen is she was use to getting her good feeling by reaching and helping someone who needed her,the only problem was he was messed up and had most likely been thru the same situation as she..brought up in a dysfunctional family situation.well i forgave her and one of the issues that came up for her was the self esteem,,she didnt feel inside she should get a positive normal man,,inturn she took what was given her..she looked for those guys that would want her and who most of the time would abuse her sexually then cuss and beat and holler at her for not doing right..my girlfriend needed help ..so in i came..i told her the best way to stop the pattern is get counseling either thru church or some program you have to pay for ..my girl got counseling ..she is doing great now.as for me i didnt work out why? well now she could choose for her self and didnt want to be in a relationship right now..it happens..what happens now ..well you dont need a relationship you need to get well and the only way you can do it is take care of you thru counseling ..you need to find out your ok and that all is going to be great ..i got news for you it is..and you will get better.but you have to stop and think...here iam 20 and iam at the cross roads and i can either get into this relationship or i can learn to enjoy life and live a full and wonderful life as we all want.this is your choice remember you are worth more than any relationship now ..you need to get well..yes i miss my girl but i walked her thru the counseling and now shes getting well..she started at 45..you can start now and enjoy the next years and then some..its worth it..enjoy being 20 dont rush it ..because when you get my age or older and you still are with people who abuse and use you then you realize it isnt worth it..and that you could have changed back at 20...now you can start out right..ok..its in your hands now..do you want something bad or do you want to really enjoy life and have a beautiful life ,with someone who actually loves and cares for you..well you have a good life and Godbless..
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A
female
reader, Stacii:) +, writes (30 July 2009):
Hia, i have been through all this, last year my ex boyfriend sexually abused me and i thought he was really special. I couldnt trust people for ages but i ended up getting with my boyfriend and i couldnt trust him either even thogh he treats me like a princess. You have to learn that not all men are like this, he generally loves you and wants to be with you. But you cant have a relationship with no trust, just learn to trust him. I know what its like hard to trust people but i have learnt to trust my boyfriend and im glad i did otherwise we wouldnt of lasted. You've had a bad past with trusting people which is no suprise but you can dwell on what happend in the past otherwise you will never be truly happy with someone x
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