A
female
age
51-59,
*usieQ1970
writes:I've given the father of my baby so many chances I'm beginning to feel it's time to just give up.I have never prevented him from seeing our son. Even when he has asked for more contact I have tried to be accommodating but then been accused of not wanting to spend time with my son myself.Recently we agreed to spend time together with our son, only once a month, as we both agreed it would be beneficial to him. Only it seems to be always me that arranges this.His father knows he is welcome to pop in whenever he likes but he never bothers.His father made a big deal last year about letting our son phone me to say goodnight when he sleeps over so I thought I would return the favour. All went well for a few months, it became a regular thing, but then suddenly the calls went unanswered, even to his mobile. My little boy got used to calling his Dad and became upset when he didn't answer. So a few weeks ago I asked if we could change the arrangement and suggested that he phone his son and likewise I would do the same when he slept over. I have only missed one call so far and I told my ex I would as I was going out that night. I couldn't call as I was in the cinema. He on the other hand has sent one text message saying sorry he didn't call as he was out and didn't have his mobile and one call that was too late. I even had words with him about this yesterday and he still didn't call last night! I'm wondering whether I should put a stop to this current agreement, I worry that should his Dad start to do this and my little boy get used to it, his Dad may stop again and he'll get upset.I want the very best for my little boy and he loves his Daddy very much, but I don't want this man to hurt him anymore. What can I do?
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (9 July 2007):
 All you can do is take your son to bed each evening and tell him that his dad loves him very much, and then you have done your bit.
Your ex is the one with the problem and believe me if he carries on this way then in time his son will realise that his dad is not reliable, as i have seen it happen to many people.
You can call your son still when he stays with his dad and let him know that you love him.
It's out of your hands now, you have spoken to him and told him how you feel about and it has gone in one ear and out the other, so you just concentrate on being the best parent you can for your boy.
Take care.xx.
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