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female
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anonymous
writes: When I was 16, my aunt introduced me to a guy who was 23. We hung out for the night and hit it off really well (not romantically). He's cute, funny, so sweet, and we had fun together.That was two years ago. Over the past two years we've become even closer friends. We have so much in common it's almost scary. He's still as funny, nice, respectful and cute as ever. In case you can't tell, I really fell hard for him, and I do know that he feels the same way.The only problem is the age thing. I'm 18 and he's 25 now. Never once during our friendship have I felt like he was older. He still acts very much like guys my age. My friends really like him, and I think my mom is even coming around, though she didn't like it that I was friends with him when I was only 16.I guess my questions are...if I got up the courage to ask him out, is there something gross or wrong or immoral, because I'm so young and he's 7 years older? We don't look like we're 7 years apart, don't act like it...but we are. And I feel like we would be judged or criticized or that other people would think it's wrong.I'm trying to be an adult and say "Who cares what others think? I'm legally an adult now, I should control my life." but I've always been the kind of person who cares about what other people think of me, and I would prefer not to be judged because I want to date an older guy.I guess I'm lucky at least we look the same age, so I don't necessarily have to deal with criticism from random strangers. I'm just a bit worried that if/when others ask, "How old is he?" they'll cringe at the thought of a man dating a teenager.I don't want anybody, strangers/family/friends, to get the impression that he's some sex-hungry creepy older man, because that's completely the opposite of who he is.Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): Hey,
I'm 17 and dating a 24 year old soon to be 25 year old man. Age is never an issue with us because we are both mature and treat each other as adults. The only problem him and I face from other people is the fact that he is black and I'm white, but no-one ever says anything about the age difference. Just remember your heart doesn't know time or color. Good luck
Ashlinn
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): Hey,
Your problem isnt that bad it is only 7 years. Alot of other couples are in the same situation ,maybe even a bigger age difference ,so your not alone. If you really love the guy, it shoudlnt matter to you about the age difference or what other people think.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006): age is just a number! it shouldn't matter what other people think at all, count yourself lucky that you've found what sounds like a really decent guy! Im not sure wether u would want to risk the friendship, however if he is such a good friend..he would still continue to be if he didn't feel the same way, if i was you i would definatly ask him..you'll only be thinking 'what if?'. im 16 and in a realtionship with someone whos 21 and age was never a issue. Its not immoral or wrong and anyone with a problem is probly just jelous! good luck
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A
female
reader, ***la belle vida***  +, writes (2 November 2006):
 Your above the age of consent what should peoples problem be really? If they do say anything they are probably jealous. Lots of men date teenagers my dad married an 18 year old when he was 36 and nobody said anything!
take care hunni xxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): Some good advice from previous posters I think. I am not sure if you should risk the friendship but I just wanted to say that I'm the product of 26 year old man and 19 year girl getting married! So I would say its not "gross or wrong or immoral."
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): Hi there, wow it sounds like you have found a special relationship with this older man and it is nice to have that kind of a friendship.
When I was your age I was completely taken with a guy who was 23, and we were only friends--he later became engaged to someone his own age and we still remained friends..he was very supportive of me and kind and taught me alot about relationships and how to love myself and I will always thank him for that....perhaps that is what this guy is to you, someone who completely gets you and can help guide you a bit through life, which is always a comforting thing.
I guess my suggestion to you is think about whether or not you really want to risk this special friendship with this older guy in order to take it to the next level of a romance....You are still quite young with a lot of life ahead of you, he is still young, but may be at a different place in his life than you are, like finished with school or something...do you want to further your education?
I don't think it is creepy at all if you want to become romantically involved, but why not just first tell him how you feel about him and see where he sees your relationship going, instead of asking him out on a date....maybe he does not want to risk ruining your friendship with the possibility of romance. That is just something you will have to decide between the two of you.
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A
female
reader, ButterflyonFire +, writes (2 November 2006):
 Girl, I think your lucky to have landed an older guy especially if he's like you described. It doesn't matter what other ppl think. Your better off with someone older and mature, trust me.
I can see how your mom didn't care for it when you were 16, but an 18 and a 25 year old dating isn't unusual. Listen to your heart, not what others might say.
~Jamie
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