A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've recently broken up with my boyfriend of eight years and I can't decide whether to make the split permanent. It took me ages to make the break - he's kind, generous, affectionate, good round the house and he loves me. On the other hand, our sex life was never great, even at the beginning, and in recent years we could go months without having sex. (There were other issues too - we hardly ever had full sex.) He also never wanted to discuss the subject of kids, saying he 'wasn't ready' - although we are both well into our thirties! This and the sex issue were what cast doubts into my mind - plus, I also met up with a guy I like, and who I know likes me, as we have mutual friends and he's been around for a few years. I can't decide whether to choose love and companionship, or sex, adventure and the possibility of a family one day. I'm aware of course I may end up with neither!
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male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (14 May 2011):
you are in a very critical condition right nowbecause even if you decided to return to your sexless boring relationship you well continue thinking about this other guyand your decision of breaking up is a brave decision that shows a good and honest personality because many in your case well choose cheating instead of breaking up in a clean wayfinally i say if you still want your ex try to seek some professional help immediatly to solve the problems of your sex life and if didnt work simply breakup and be serious wiht this other guy or find some one who fullfills your life physically and spiritually,Good Luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): You did the right thing. He was only half of what you were looking for and needed. That means you would always live half a life if you were to stay with him. There are other people out there who are a better match for you. it's far better you break up with him than if you were to never have kids (when you obviously want a family) because of him, or you pressure him into having kids when he's "not ready" and he secretly resents you for it forever.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 You can have it all. Stable relationship, adventurous sex, and kids. Don't let other people influence you that it's not possible. It's normal to be hesitant about a permanent break up but I say here it's better to be single than be with a person you are not passionate about.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 May 2011):
Given that you are surer that you want kids, I'd probably say you did the right thing by ending it and moving on. You would have grown to resent him very much if you'd reached an age where you couldn't have kids because he 'wasn't ready.'
Simply put, you needed more than he could offer - and that's a good enough reason to end anything. You did the right thing,
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