A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex girlfriend who I love a lot and she knows it, recently got drunk in a party and kissed one of my friend. This hurts me a lot. At first, I pretend that I am okay with it but my best friend found out that I was upset about it and told her that without informing me. she came back and apologize for it and she said she was drunk so I forgive her. I really WANT to hate her and that friend but somehow I put the blame on myself and I can't persuade to hate her. In the past two months, she had been giving me hints that we might still have a chance and I asked her to invitation dinner. She said she really want to go but she went to her best friend's birthday party instead and that was when she was drunk.I seriously don't know what to do. All my friends said I am very stupid and tried to persuade me to give up but my faith is too strong and there is no such a word called "impossible" for me. By the way I have been doing this for ten months. I had sacrificed another girl for her, time and one of my hobby which won't allow her to be in my mind. I had tried to maintain my hobby and her simultaneously but it didn't work at all.However, things are improving. We talk more,more eye contacts and I sent my regards to her when she is down although she is not willing to tell me why she upset but I guess I am involved in it. Can anyone in here give me advises about what should I do pleases.Thank you.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 There is already an improvement in your relationship, all I can say is that you need to just keep being the best man you can be.
I am partly afraid for you. She cheated on you when she was drunk, what does that say about her? Has she tried to stop drinking as much? Even though you are not fully matured yet, you should realize that this sort of thing happens and it usually happens again when the cheater is given another chance. I am not saying she is inevitably going to cheat on you again, I am merely trying to warn you that if she is not willing, you will get hurt again.
I am also slightly joyful that there is effort here. I realize that you noticed the amount of eye contact there was between you and that is very important. Eventually, she will open up to you, just make her feel comfortable talking to you so she can be honest. If this is ever going to work, she needs to make you feel as though you can trust her again and if she is going to be honest, you need to do the same for her. You are right of course when you deny impossibility. Nothing is impossible and it sounds as though there is still hope. Just keep talking to her, being there for her and hopefully, things will be alright.
I hope that helps.
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