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male
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*eter6209
writes: Here is the thing, I'm a married man, i am 22 years old, and have been married for over 2 years now, and have been with her for about 4 years now. I have this thing that happens almost every year where I feel like i want out of the marriage cause of some love and trust issues. When we got engaged we got engaged because the family wanted us to and that was after about 4 months of going out, ( they are and indian family and their values are different ) so then i thought of not wanting to get married to her and a month before the marriage i asked her to slow it down and maybe we wait for a while, and she went ballistic as also the family. so i gave in to please everyone. She has also been sucidal in the past, and the family is very hard to deal with also. Well i care for her alot and always want to make sure she is ok, but i dont know what to do, i belive that it isn't fair to her that i dont love her equally, and I think spliting up is something that we should consider but i cant bring it up without some kind of emotional problem. I dont know what to do, i dont want to stay in a marriage that im not happy with, but i dont want her to be hurt. What do i do ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2006): Hi there Peter6209.Hmmm... you really do have a situation on your hands. OK... I'm an Indian too and I can understand exactly what you might be dealing with. Well, if this family is anything like the rest of us, I'll say that they will ~never~ agree for the divorse. You see, a divorse is not a solution for us. In India, the instituion of marriage is binding, and divorse is a social taboo. Even if both the husband and wife want to separate, the families will never approve of it. So, the husband and wife, having no other choice, learn to live with their partner. I said all this incase you are wondering why her family is reacting this way...Is your wife also unhappy in the marriage or does she think otherwise? Maybe you could try counselling to help her understand how you feel and maybe you guys could figure a way to work things out?
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