A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Dear all,first of all, I've come to the conclusion that I am unhappy in my job.. I have too commute, and walk, and so I spend 12 hours away from home everyday.. So i'm tryin to find another one. Because of the stress of my job, I find I eat a lot less healthily, therefore i have put on a little bit of weight, which he constantly reminds me of... It makes me feel bad, but he says that he's only telling me how he feels, and that I asked him to be honest with me no matter what (which I did).Basically, I feel like I'm not good enough for him.. He was looking at another girl today, and I don't usually get stressed about it, but today I did, and we ended up having a row...I feel like he could do better than me, and I hate myself for being so different from him..What can I do to be a better girlfriend? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 May 2006):
 Thank you, Dr Psych! I totally agree, and although I have a reputation for speaking my mind completely, I have nothing to add, except to reiterate her best points...
* Your BF should be your shoulder-to-cry-on, your support, not someone who runs you down. If he's not helping you in the hard times, you have to wonder what value he is.
* You're probably more sensitive to any comments because you're unhappy with your life right now.
* Therefore, make changes to make yourself happy and most of the rest of your problems will evaporate.
Take care...
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 You are depressed and probably because you are spending so much time at work. Men can be a bit blunt about weight matters sometimes but you maybe feeling overly sensitive because you are tired, depressed etc. The job is probably dragging you down and you need to find something more manageable. Remember that old saying about work to live, not live to work. Once you get that aspect of your life sorted out you will probably feel better about yourself all round. If your boyfriend is that bothered by the pounds you have put on then he is not worthy of your attention as he should be with you for your personality not your body. Don't put yourself down by thinking he is better than you. Sometimes people are nasty about weight etc because they are feeling bad about themselves and want to take it out on someone. My weight yo-yo's because of a medical condition but I don't care what people think, BUT I used to a lot because I had a really stressful job working long hours and I was really tired and snappy.
Remember that partners are supposed to be supportive - its in their job description - and if he isn't up to the job, sack him and find someone more worthy of your attention! Hope you find another job soon.
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A
female
reader, matron +, writes (20 May 2006):
 Hi,Start by loving you, he does!
You really are on a downer, you hate your job, the travelling and the hours you are away from home, you're tired, stressed and becoming over anxious about situations. You need to find a job closer to home, try to relax and give yourself YOU time and then you can put things into perspective. You said it yourself you are beginning to worry about things that you never did before, when you are pent up with frustration you blow things out of proportion.Start looking for a job closer to home, make positive plans, in turn you will start having positive thoughts, your boyfreind probably doesn't know which way to turn because without realising it you are no doubt making him feel like he cant do or say anything right at the moment, as your mood starts to lift you will realise that he's trying to help you, if he didn't care he wouldn't be there! Good luck
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