A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I recently decided to move in together when my current lease is up in June. It seemed like the natural thing to do, and I was even the one who suggested it, but now that it's 'offical' I find myself getting rather nervous. I've never lived with a partner before, and I'm wondeing if this is just the normal first-day-of-school type nervous or if it's actually a bad idea.To be honest, I don't think we would have considered it at this point in our relationship if it hadn't been for economic reasons. In my line of work, I'm feeling the effects of our economy particularly hard, and the prices of EVERYTHING just keeps going up. My boyfriend spends EVERY night at my house, and usually goes there straight after work anyway. I do his laundry, we go grocery shopping together, he helps clean... we practically live together anyway. And it would help both of us greatly to split all these costs. It would save me from having to get a second job.I know that our personalities will work fine together, we're both on the same level as far as cleanliness goes, and we work different schedules, so I'm not conserned about not having any private time. But it's a huge commitment, and everything suddenly going from 'mine' and 'his' to 'ours' freaks me out. What's your take on the situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Here's my take: completely normal.
It's completely weird to go from living your own life by your own schedule without consideration for anyone else, to living with someone, always there, suddenly it's both of yours, you have no personal space or items... everything is TOGETHER TOGETHER TOGETHER.
That's the crazy part. But, if you feel like you guys have had time to grow in your relationship together and have gotten to a point in time where you want to meld lives and just spend it all together - GO FOR IT! While it's a big adjustment, if you love each other - it won't be easy - you you'll work on it, you'll get used to life together and you'll find a groove and be happy. You'll learn about stupid little habits both of you have, sometimes it'll bug the hell out of you how he leaves his laundry all over the house until you finally have to do it or else you'll die from the just-worked-out funk. It might drive him crazy that you HAVE to have your DVD's color coordinated. But those things you'll work out in the first 6 months and you'll find a nice state of happiness that you both prefer to living independently.
I do want to say this though, if you're doing this simply for economic security - don't. Because moving in with each other can really reveal the true relationship. And if it's not 100% solid, if it's still insecure, it will definitely sour the relationship.
So just be sure you really talk about things and think about it, both of you.
Good luck, sweetness!
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