A
female
age
41-50,
*enie53uk
writes:hi all my bf and i had a pregnacy scare a few days ago i thought i might be pregnant i was terrified although im 27 i still live at home and have a job as a nursery nurse and love this . and my folks told me from a young age if i was ever pregnant they would kick me out . anyway i thought i was and my bf was over the moon about it kept saying we should have this and how he cant wait , i was happy at first but after a while i thought i couldnt do it and told him if i am then i cant keep it , he went quite and was crying , said he doesnt want things to change between us if i abort it , and that he couldnt come with me to do this as it would hurt him seeing the scan . ( i should tell you that a few months ago i had a abortion and he didnt come with me then as i didnt tell him till a few later that i did this ) anyway we found out i wasnt and at the moment i dont know what to say to him , i feel hurt that he would have left me to this all alone to get rid of the baby i dont know if i should still be with him what do you all think
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): WARNING.. PLEASE DO NOT READ MY REPLY IF YOU HAVE HAD AN ABORTION. I AM VERY ANGRY AND THEREFORE I HAVE BEEN CRUEL.
For ladies who have had to take this serious decision, please, please accept my apologies if I cause offence, or hurt you in any way... Blessings
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Hi Genie,
You present as aged 27 (overage) and currently living with your parents in the UK. Genie I would like to help you, but I'm afraid I'm gonna offend you big time and you won't like what I have to say at all...
Firstly I wonder how old your boyfriend is, is he 15 years old and underage, is that why you are so frightened to keep the baby, are you afraid you will go to jail because you had sex with a child.
If your boyfriend is an adult like you... well.... here comes the bit that you will not like...
FOR FUCKS SAKE, YOU ARE 27years old, YOU ARE A BLOODY ADULT, WHAT IS THE FUCKING MATTER WITH YOU.
I know your parents said that they would throw you out, but that when you was a younger child. You are now 27years old, what are you waiting for. If they throw you out, well go and get somewhere else to live. Look in the newspapers, you will find plenty of rooms available, and if your boyfriend has a job as well, then there is no problem at all....
What kind of grown woman are you, you have a boyfriend, you have sex, you have finished school, you can live anywhere you choose. But you have an abortion, you kill this man's child and let them throw it in the rubbish because your frightened your parents would be angry... FUCKING HELL... You need to grow up.
Have you talked to your parents, I bet they think it's strange that they have no grandchildren yet. Parents love kids, the usually love grandchildren more. Please go and talk to them my dear. Tell them you had an abortion because you wanted to stay at home. I guarantee they will be horrified, they will be sick to their stomach that you have acted this way.
How long have you and your boyfriend been together. If you've been together for a least a year, they are sitting and waiting for you to tell them you are pregnant. They are not worried you are pregnant, but they are worried that you are infertile and may be unable to have kids. Do you have any sisters, did they get preganant and have kids. How dose your parents treat them and the children, do they look angry and upset.
You abort this man's child, without even giving him the respect to tell him that you were pregnant, and now you are upset, because he dosen't understand why you want to abort, so he leaves you alone.
Tell you what don't dump him, tell him about the first abortion and he may dump you. He would leave you to kill your baby, but why dose that hurt, you killed your baby the first time and it didn't hurt you.
Sorry I'm angry... I'm pro-choice big time. Whatever a woman needs to do is her right to do. I have never, ever been this cruel and angry when other women have an abortion, I always understand. But then again, I've never heard such as stupid reason as "I'm a 27year old adult and I aborted cause I was too scared to leave home"....
I am childless my dear, you have been blessed, and yet you threw it away, for what... To please grandparents that are dying for grandchildren, to protect a man who loves kids very much. If this is your real reason for your abortion, well hell, they should never have given you one. Your life is not in danger, you have financial and family support, your guy wants a baby, and you bloody work with kids, there are no mental issues that I can see....
You were too scared to tell mummy, daddy, and boyfriend, and now your crying because of some stupid pregnancy scare... I really suggest you have a family meeting, get your boyfriend, your parents together and discuss this whole thing. Explain to them you had a pregnancy scare, and you was considering abortion because you were frightened that they would throw you out. You will be very surprised my dear, they will all say no babes, we are all waiting for you because we love kids a lot.
Call a family meeting, don't be frightened, this is the least that you can do for your dead baby, and it's crying father who didn't even know it existed, but is wishing and praying one day you will give him a child.
GROW UP AND TALK TO YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR BOYFRIEND... YOU ARE 27years old, you are no longer a little child...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 August 2008):
Well if he didn't want you to have an abortion then he shouldn't have to come and watch you do it, that is just going to really really hurt him. You already got rid of his child once without even asking him.
The fact you live at home and don't want a baby is fine. But it takes 2 to have a child and he has to have some say on what happens to it. You can't just expect him to be a dad when it is convenient to you and happily support you all the rest of the time, no matter how hurt he is.
You just don't seem to consider his feelings at all.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (30 August 2008):
 Hi Hunny
Your b/f is obviously upset as he had different feelings about the outcome, He wanted to keep the baby if you were pregnant. Plus as you said you had an abortion a few months ago and didnt tell him untill it was all over.. This I would imagine was upsetting for him as he is your partner and had a right to know really sweetheart before you went..So the question your asking is a bit of an Oxymoron love, You feel hurt because you feel he would have left you to do this alone and dont no if you should be with him. How did he feel hunny when you went ahead the first time without telling him? I imagine hurt. You are worried because he doesnt appear to be there for you but you have already been through with this alone without letting him no..There is a good chance love that he is hurting alot as well. If you think about it from his point of view..I hope this helps love and I do hope you sort things out WITH LOVE AND HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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