A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am middle aged, 2 years seperated, in a 13 month relationship with a single guy. Nice guy, does not show or express what is going on 'inside'. No talk on future plans but behaves as though we are an item. When questioned, he states, "I spend all my time with you. What do you want me to say?"I really want to have my emotional needs met, like most women. I have told him so, but all stays the same. I do not have a crystal ball to show me if this will always be the way but have a gut feeling it will be. A nice guy, messy and unorganised, unlike me, and I know he wants to move in, but again he does not mention any future plans or talk about our houses/finance as one day being 'as one'. I am feeling pretty empty and close to being used or am I asking too much? I want 75% of this guy but feel he wants just a live-in partner, not a lover.I need advice.CeeBee Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kathy255  +, writes (9 February 2009):
Men are crazy I am in a weird relationship too he acts like he is my boyfriend, but won't say that we are together he tells me not to fall in love and that he is not the right man for me. I just think all men are selfish and they are only out to please themselves. So you have to ask yourself this question---Is this what I really want? If the answer is no you have to take steps to change it. Same goes for me the answer is no I don't want to be wondering where does he stand with me emotionally. Another question you have to ask youself if the answer to the first was no.---- Am I willing to be with this man with all his flaws, is it really worth the heart break that is inevitable?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): If your emotional needs aren't being met then you need to look around. My last boyfriend was also a "nice guy" who didn't express his feelings, and I never could get close to him, at least not the way you want to be with your significant other. I never felt like he was there for me. I was in a relationship but I felt alone. A good relationship requires communication, and it sounds like that is lacking in yours. That's probably why you feel empty, like there's no connection. My guy wanted us to live together as well, but I felt like all he really wanted was someone to take care of him. We broke up a few months ago and it's been really hard because our relationship was good on the surface. But it just wasn't good enough. I know men aren't as open about their feelings as women are, but if you feel like something is missing or just not quite right, then follow your instinct. I don't know that he's using you, but if you aren't happy with him now it isn't going to get any better later. Good luck.
...............................
|
