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Isn't it time for me to be happy and move on?

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Question - (24 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2011)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Me and my best friend have been in love with eachother for 2 1/2 years but he has been with his gf for 4 years. I never ever ever had any intention of trying to break them up! Infact two years ago when we confessed we were in love with eachother, I told him I didn't think it was a good idea for us to be friends anymore because he had been with his girl for 2 years at the time and it wasnt fair to do that to her. So I kept trying to move on BUT he'd always end up coming back arround saying, "I miss you", "I need you", "Hey baby Im thinkin about you" and all this crap and of coarse I reallly love him so it melts my heart every time. But I finnally decided back in October that this was the end of it. That I was done for good. Still now that I am about to be 18 and legal for us to be together he's being sweeter than ever before and giving me more attention and making me feel special. Still I respect his gf, him and them as a couple so i know that since its 2 months till my bday its more critical than ever that I end this for good. So how do I handle him being so sweet and all that?? I mean truely loving some one some times means thinking of whats best for them and doing it no matter how much it hurts, even if that means saying good bye forever...Why wont he let me go? Why wont he let me move on? Isnt it time for ME to be happy and find some one new??

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (24 May 2011):

chigirl agony auntYeah this guy doesn't truly love you, sorry. If he did he would have left his gf long time ago.

And if he was unable, unlikely but ok, he should have been the one to "end it" as you put it. He's the one who's having an emotional affair after all!

If he's capable of looking at other women, fall in love with them, all the while being in a long term relationship, this tells me two more things: he can't stay faithful, and you're most likely not the only other girls he's warming up.

He just enjoys the attention you're giving him. Not much of a friend to you I am afraid.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011):

Why wont he let me move on?

He doesn't want you to,

The sweet words are about keeping you were he wants you.

Plus as Cindy says he is hoping to get laid.

Isnt it time for ME to be happy and find some one new??

Yes, you are in control of this, what are you going to choose to do?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (24 May 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt That's so easy to answer :

because he wants to get laid.

And because by now he knows you are a sucker for sweet words , so he'll drown you in I miss you I love you , being reasonably sure that this will always get him what he wants from you.

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