A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for 7 years with this guy. Out of no where he tells me he's not in love with me anymore and that we just wouldn't work out. We have been broken up for about a month, and I decided I needed to clear the air for myself about these reasons for breaking up. I forced him to talk to me about our situation and about being friends and how we should be around our other friends. Through the conversation I sensed that he is depressed. He went through depression last fall and I decided he needed to get some mental help and that I would help him.Then next day he asked me to come over again and he admitted to me he is depressed and needs help. I love him more than anything in this world and I am going to help him. Here is the problem: he admitted he loves me, and the reasons he gave me for breaking up were just ways for him to push me away, and that he wants to date other girls. He said he doesn't want to feel that way, but he does.Is this part of depression? Is he pushing me away because he feels like something new in his life will change how he is feeling? My friends tell me I should walk away, but I love him to much to let him fall deeper down the well. He came to me because I am the only person in his life he has ever opened up to. I've gotten the ball rolling on seeing a professional, should I walk away or be there when and if he needs me? Please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): Hey, you must have felt devastated when he told you he didn't love you. How was the relationship going up until this point? Sex life ok etc?Im asking because I was in a relationship where the sex life died and i felt as though my partner was putting up with me because I wanted sex and she didn't. During that time i thought about being with other women. The difference here is he has acted upon his thoughts and used depression as an excuse.It seems as though his depression has been caused by his unhappiness in the relationship and he is just too insecure to end it with you and stick by his decision. The implication of his logic is that you are a back up if he doesn't find another woman.He is pushing you away because he doesn't want to be with you deep down. He only cares about you when it suits him and no one else is around for him. You need to ask him directly if he wants you and only you. If he says "no" or "i dont know" then walk away. This man does not love you. Every mans mind wonders but love stops them acting upon their impulse. The man you speak of only cares about himself and satisfying his ego.
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