A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.Ok so here's my story. I've been dating this guy 'L' for almost 9 months. I love him too much, he means the world to me. I even have plans for the future with him.BUT i have some faithfulness issues, for some reason, I can't be faithful to him, I try my best but I can't.I'm a virgin and me and my guy decided to wait until marriage to have any kind of sexual contact (he's a virgin too) so i don't do anything sexual with any guy but i'm very flirtatious with other guys, specially with my ex. I can't help it, I'm attracted to him and I have sexual feelings like every other person does but i never tell my guy about this because we respect each other so much and we never talk about this like openly because we don't like it.Ive talked dirty to my ex and one other guy but Ive felt guilty afterwards and i feel like i should telling my man about this but i dont really want to lose him i just want to stop cheating on him because i know its not correct and i should behave, idk what to do to about it.I want to be a good gf because i expect him to be faithful to me and it's not fair what i've been doing to him.ANY ADVICES on this? Should i go on therapy or something? or is there anything i can do to change this?Help please :'(
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you guys are right. I cannot just say i respect him with words when i disrespect him with my actions. I've been just too selfish thinking about my own satisfaction without caring about other people's feelings. Thanks for your help, i really need a strong slap on the face!!
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (29 November 2010):
 You don't have respect for your boyfriend. You don't have respect for yourself either. No one out here can give you back your self respect or change your behavior for you - that's up to you to do. You are the person in charge of your own self control.
Your flirting with other men is making a fool of your boyfriend; and if and when he finds out, he will be humiliated by his own girlfriend's behavior. He may just dump you flat. Perhaps that will put it into perspective for you and force you to see yourself as he will see you; perhaps that alone will give you the willpower that you need to stop being careless with his feelings.
If I were you I'd hope that your ex and your boyfriend don't know each other too. If you really trust your ex enough to talk dirty with him; you are also trusting him with this secret that he could tell your boyfriend - which is a timebomb of your own making. Good Luck!
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): I find it interesting you say you have respect for your boyfriend, yet at the same time you disrespect your relationship by behaving the way you do. Unfaithfulness is not a disease its a choice. You consciously make the decisions to flirt with other guys, you consciously make the decision to talk with your ex the way you do, if you truly respected your relationship with your boyfriend you wouldn't do what you do. It's harsh but its true, we all look for excuses for behaviour when the only answer is simply, think before you do. If you can think of your boyfriend then still go ahead and flirt or talk dirty to your ex, then its probably you rethink your relationship with your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): Stop all contact with ur ex to begin with. I think that because you are not having sex u have all this sexual energy built up inside. Have u considered masturbation, in other words if u are satisfied then u will have no reason to go looking for it.
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