A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've known this guy for 5 years and we have always had a strong connection, nothing has ever happened as I have been in a relationship for the past 10 years and he has been in a relationship for 3 years.Thing is a few weeks ago we both met at a friend's party and got close, we kissed and then met up the following week. He kept texting and calling everyday for 2 weeks. We had a good conversation and he told me that he was confused (I am too). He says that he wants to take me out but he hasn't set any dates, and i text him approx 5 days ago and he hasn't got back to me... Do u think this is a sign for me to take a hint?I can't get him off my mind and know that this is wrong, but i really need some advice...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I totally feel your pain! I am going through sort of the same thing myself.
I have been with the same person for 10 years and know I am not in a good relationship. I am aware that I need to get out. I also have developed an obsession with a guy I have known casually for about 5 years, but he is in relationship that is good, from what I know.
I believe the male reader who accused you of wanting to cheat is way of base here, because I fell the way you do, but would NEVER resort to cheating. I think what you are asking here is if the feelings you have are normal and if you should maybe pursue them AFTER ending your current relationship.
I will give you the advice that was given to me:
Sometimes having these feelings about someone other than the person you are with is a symptom that something is not right in your own relationship. Maybe you are having these feelings because there is something in your relationship you are not happy with, and the thought if being in love with someone is your real obsession.
My advice to you would be to examine if the relationship you are in right now is the one you want and go from there. Either stay and forget about the other guy, or leave your current relationship and then re-examine how you feel about the other guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know its wrong to cheat, but unless you are in a position you really dont know what you would do!
All Im saying is ive been with my b/f for 10yrs and never have had these sort of feelings for anyone else and its not something that I have set out to do.
Im confused as I thought my partner was the guy that i would marry and settle down with!!
I do not want to chase the other but need to know why i am having these feelings?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): Who gives a shit if he is interested in you, especially seeing he has a partner and so do you.Your question should be whether you are happy to fool around on your man or not, and whether you would be happy to be his tart on the side? Are you?If not, then get your shit together. But break up with your 10 year relationship because your being a deceiptful self centered partner here. Your wanting to see what's out there, which might be better. So you have to decide on your current relationship.Irrespective of whether you are interested in this other guy, you are clearly not interested in your present relationship. So end it and be a decent human being for goodness sakes.Cheat or not to cheat - WHEN DID THIS EVER BECOME A QUESTION FOR SOMEONE WITH ANY FORM OF MORALITY.
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