A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My personality is that I'm pretty open. I have no problems sharing information about myself because I have nothing to hide. Ask and I will answer. But not everyone is like this and I get that, but it's hard to remember what is and is not OK around someone who is more reserved and on the quiet side.I was on a date talking to this guy and it started out easy enough, I asked questions about his major, what he wanted to do with it, how his weekend was, etc. But then I asked him about his dream and he clammed up and things went down hill from there. Was that inappropriate? Too personal? Should I apologize next time I see him? I didn't mean it to be a serious question, just a joke. My exact question was "what would you do if you could do anything?" Is that bad to ask? I was expecting answers along the line of "space cowboy" or something idiotic. Did I screw up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies
Honestly, I don't think this question was deep or even that serious. I don't know, I don't ask questions unless I'm willing to answer them myself, and if he had asked me it, i would have no problems coming up with an answer. I guess I expected the same from him. Oh well, next time I won't just assume that and stay with lighter subjects
A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 No its not personal. Maybe he just has problems opening up or there is something hes not told you yet. Dont apologize just carry on as if it didnt happen.
He may think your trying to tie him down in some stupid way.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Not really too personal in my opinion, but its definitely a curve ball for some people. Not everybody has figured out their "dream" yet and I know its the absolute last question I'd want to hear on a first date for sure.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 No, not personal at all. It wasn't like you were asking his penis size, now that would be out of line. He obviously didn't get it was a joke or took it as a serious question and realized he really didn't have any dreams thus feeling embarrassed. If you were really into him then give him a ring or text him and further explain what you meant by your question...That will ease the situation. However, if you weren't that into him don't bother contacting him or if you run into him I wouldn't mention it unless he does, chances are he probably forgot about it. I like your style of taking charge of firing away questions at your date. In fact that's a great question, you could even ask it in a serious manner. Just remember this experience next time and answer the question first. Not all guys understand the questions you are asking them and need an example.
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A
male
reader, gigolojone  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 You did not screw up,i guess he does have personality issues.
However since you still want to see him,try talking to him and find out if he was upset with your question and if he was,say you are sorry since you will lose nothing.
You are now getting to know his personality better and if you feel you can put up with it,then go a head and talk to him some more but trade carefully least you press the wrong buttons once again.
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