A
female
age
36-40,
*nly4him
writes:okay im here jus for advice. im 27 and my ex who broke up with me like 3 weeks ago is 28, he has a ex 31 yrs old whom he has 2 kids with and lives with her mom and has no job or education. but neways we just had a baby 7 weeks ago and living together for teh past two years. okay well this ex has been a constant bug i guess because she's been wanting him back and i guess managed to pull him back to her. they were together 5 years and ever since she knew about me always made him feel guilty for not being more with the kids and as soon as she founf out i was pregnant made him feel even more guilty and always brought up thier past by sending him family photos and videos of when his kids were littls and when they were together so i guess he started to remember and started to miss her. now im left here at the apt which is about 45 min away from my family and not working and with my baby who he hardly spends time with and now he tells me he will probabaly stay and help with bills but thats it and he doesnt want to be with me and his fist two kids will always come first. so now they are sending eachother all kinds of txt messages saying i love you , and i love you my lovely husband and my beautiful wife etc etc. so now he doesnt sleep here every night he stays the night at her moms house andi guess they play house over there. but i mean i dont know what my question really is i just need some opinions or something. i mean isnt this so immature of him, now all of a sudden they are all in love and wants nothing with me when they would always fight when she would use the kids to make him feel guilty and threaten him and when they were together they were always fighting, his family is upset about this too because now his kids are bigger too ages 5 and 6 and now might get all confused. i dont know what do ya think, is this immature of him or is he just realizing he loves his ex?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Situation is more difficult now. He wasnt a good father to his two kids, they were younger, now they are coming into their own personalities and can attract the father more now. You are in a delicate situation, he didnt want to know his first two kids when they were babies and now heres another baby, so i dont know how he will be able to manage that. I think you may have lost him and what he really wants is the ex and his first two kids again. You will be very lucky if he will be the father to your child that you expect, or at least until the child is older because he doesnt have a clue with babies. The wife will win in the end, she has been working it for a while and using the kids to draw him nearer.
Your job would be now to try and make him support the child although don't expect too much from that source. You know the answer to the other things, you have lost him. Don't let him run back to you every time something goes wrong with his 'wonderful wife and kids now' That would be a big mistake, When he makes his bed, make him lie in it. He must think the grass is greener over there.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 November 2010):
 you have been through a torrid 2 years. All has not been well for some time. I suppose it makes him feel irresistable to have two women both wanting him.
Get the maintenance for your baby all stitched up. go see a lawyer. He does have to support the baby he created.
I would consider him lost to you, but i think you realise that.
Make sure your next man is employed, truthful, respectful and fully over his marriage or last relationship and is thus divorced. Your next man needs to be available and willing to committ to being IN a relationship.
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A
male
reader, not fat +, writes (28 November 2010):
its sad that you have a baby with such a loser. do you and that baby a big fav and go back too your family. dont give him the choise to come back to you. that would be no good for you and you baby. good luck
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