| A
age
30-35,
*
writes: Recently a very close guy friend of mine got a girlfriend, in the past we have been very close and occasionally i'd think we could be more than friends. He told me he liked me on a few occassions and was always confused as to 'what we were' (friends/ more than friends) I would always say we are just friends.I find it uncomfortable to see him with this girl, i'm aware he is not mine but I dislike the thought of not being able to be as close with him and have to worry about how i am acting. Although he has seemingly moved on and does not know i feel this way, he is still very reluctant to mention her around me or say when she may join us when a group of us go out. I'm very confused because if he doesn't know i feel this way (i.e i may like him) and if he's happy with her than why wouldn't he talk about her? I'm not entirley sure if this a case of 'wanting what you can't have' because it's kind of always been there, so basically i'm not sure whether i should talk to him because he says he's happy or i should let it go and act okay, although he is able to see through this, he doesn't know why i'm not actually 'okay'. I don't know what to do next? or how to act? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 He doesn't talk about her because he has feelings for you. Feelings he's probably tried getting over and thus the reason for the girlfriend. He's failed getting over you though, so he doesn't talk about her to you because he still sees you in a romantic light, even if he never mentioned or acted on it.
What to do is harder. If you think you would really like to have a go with him for a relationship, you should tell him. If you aren't sure, it's best to keep it to yourself. You need to be sure about what you want, because you just might get it. It would be a shame for him to leave his relationship only to have you not want him anymore.
In the mean time be his friend if you're able. Be happy for him. Decide what you want and take appropriate action to make it happen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): I think you should tell him how you feel who knows he might feel the same way and just doesnt want to sayanything...but if he doesnt feel th same way then just wish him the best of luck with his girl and let him know ur still his friend and will be their for him if he needs it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Accept the fact that hes with her, not you. Their hapiness is their busines, stop hurting yourself by 'wanting wat you cant have'...
...............................
A
female
reader, Lacylavine  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Hi, why would you always say that you two were just friends? How come you never tried it with him? Maybe you feel that way like you said he was always there you got used to his company and the openness you two shared. All of a sudden your relationship isn't the same, and you miss it. Maybe he's not mentioning her, because he doesn't want to hurt you. Ok before I met my boyfriend I would have pretended nothing was wrong and would have moved on. But now I release that is just selling your self short, denying yourself happiness. I think you should talk to him and explain how you feel and what you feel about him and the situation you find yourself. He will understand and maybe even put your mind and heart at rest. Who knows maybe he is happy with her, but be happier with you? And he knows this yet he doesn't know how to bring it up? But I wouldn't let it go, it leaves scares and you might think you will be over it, but in some small way you wont. I hope that makes sense :)
...............................
|
