A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years and my first birthday we went skydiving, but I paid for myself. He also invited his friends and some guys I didn't know along with us. For my second birthday he got me nothing at all, and now this year I asked him weeks before to really think about it and try and to put some thought and care into it. I also sent him a list of things i would like (all different price ranges, some cheap, some expensive). And the day before my birthday he told me straight up that he had gotten me nothing at all... again. I then proceeded to be mad and actually really upset with myself for thinking he might actually try and care for once and not ruin a birthday. The next day he showed up with a present and I know that money should not matter, but it's the time and energy and thought that does. I know the bracelet/watch he got me was cheap, but I didn't care - all though was a little disappointed that he spent a couple hundred dollars on himself just that week and then almost nothing on me. But I later find out that he went just 2 minutes from his house to the local Walmart only hours before he gave me the present, obviously proving he did not think about me at all, but just needed a quick cheap present to get me.. $10 to be exact. What is worse is that he is trying to make it seem like he DID spend time to think about it and thinks the present is great and wonderful and is calling me shallow because I think that after two years I should deserve something better with more thought and care into it. Is there any way that I can show him how the present makes me feel worthless and not cared for? Or should I just move on and find someone that WILL take that time to think about me and what I would want? PLEASE helpThanks,Katie
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): I am sorry to say that I think your boyfriend is not that worried about making you happy. I would bet that after two years he is pretty much taking you for granted.
If you feel strongly about the gift issue, yes definately express your feelings about it, and then I would consider that you are no longer happy in this relationship.
You deserve to be happy, and if he isn't showing you love the way you asked him to, that says something about him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): Dear Katie,
As a guy I can only say : dump the loser. Thats no way to treat a girl. For my gf I usually spend roughly 90$ for bdays, Christmas, anniversary. And I get very creative for my gifts too. A guy like that is most likely keeping you around for convenience until he finds someone else.
Get rid of that guy and you'll see that there is much better then that.
Goodluck!
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