A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am feeling so angry and unloved and also stupid.i have been with my partner for almost a year and a half, and at first he was great, everything seemed good. but for the last five months or so, i feel like i am practically begging him for time.He works alot fair enough but so do i, he has children from a previous relationship who he sees once each fortnight, i have children also who live with me. if i can make time to see him around my children surely he can.When ever i suggest a night out (not very often lately mind) he cannot because he is busy, or tired and just wants to stay at his place telling me he will see me soon.Whenever i go to stay lately i find him distant, which leads me to be distant with him.he rang me up tonight and i really could not bring myself to have a conversation with him, because after the last five months or so i feel that he is only bothering when he has nothing better to do.i know underneath that i do have feelings for him, but i feel comsumed with anger. he is going to ring me back later and i feel like it will not go well at all. and i know if we part i will be sad, but why? what is it that i will miss? i know he is fed up also, lately we have had a lot of talks on the phone, i have told him that i would like to spend more time together (more than each weekend, or fortnightly sometime) and also told him that i feel unloved.nothing ever changes, and now i just feel angry.is there any particular way i should be wording how i feel? my way seems to hit a brick wall. i want to do it in a non confrontational way.this is really my last attempt i feel, because the tension between us now is unbearable.any advice on how to word things?thankyou to anyone who can advise me in any way.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RCK  +, writes (15 October 2009):
What is it that you will miss?
You will miss his companionship, friendship and his laugh.
When you talk next time ask him what he misses most about the relationship (in a matter of fact way) and if he is happy with the way things are going at the moment. Ask him if there is anything you can do to make things more exciting between two.
If you draw a blank spot from him and you really want to know ask him if he still wants to be in the relationship. If the answer is yes then play with him on the phone and tell him "I want some fun time alone with you and only you tonight" If your shutting off then so is he. Sort it before it gets worse.
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