A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I fell hard for a guy who knew it and used me for sex. I've been hurt by men before and always found a way to move on and shake it off and find something better. No matter what I do, and how much time has passed: I fall to tears when I think of him. I've been dating and keeping myself busy and enjoying my life, but those moments are hard for me. Do I have the right to contact him and tell him how I feel? Is there an effective way to tell him how he hurt me? I think it's the only way to ease this pain.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 You have the right , but it's a total waste of time that won't ease your pain and will only keep you stuck in the past.I had a bf that cured me from my need for " closure ", and taught me I have to make my own closure,- at the time I was shocked , but now I thank him.I did what you'd like to do you , I sent him a long, passionate, heartfelt message telling him about how much he had hurt me and why and blah blah blah. He answered " You are hurt...and ? Am I supposed to care ? Too bad. Because I don't ". A bit brutal , but it contains a plain, simple truth : if someone acts toward you in a cruel, hurtful, spiteful way - he does not give a rat's ass about how you are gonna take it. Because if he cared about not hurting your feelings, well, he would not have acted spiteful to begin with.It all starts from you , within you. Drill into your head that pining for someone who used and disrespected you means that YOU are the first one disrespecting and mistreating yourself. Because, while we can't expect that everybody will care about us and treat us well, WE should be able to care about ourselves and treat ourselves well. And that also includes removing ourselves, physically and emotionally, from the proximity with toxic people.
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