A
male
age
36-40,
*ottenhamhotspur
writes:I have an issue that keeps me from having sex currently with my girlfriend. She is very understanding and it is not that big of a deal (I need a minor surgery before I can, and we are content at fooling around until that happens)I have been able to reach orgasm with her a few times, but find alot of difficulting through rubbing or hand stimulation to orgasm. She feels bad about it because I always get her off, but she can't seem to get me off and she feels like it is her fault.It isn't that big of a deal to me because she still makes me feel great, but does anyone have any idea what this might be a problem? I don't have any problems achiving it by myself and I am always thinking about her when I do- so I don't know what the problem is.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): from my experience, only skilled women can make a man orgasm by doing a handjob/blowjob on him. so it's not her fault and it's not your fault either.
don't give up. let her do it as much as she likes and eventually she will get there.
visual stimulation is very effective on men. so it will help you get your orgasm easier if she puts on a show for you. use a mirror or something to watch the full scene.
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (23 April 2012):
You might want to try the following: first have her sit (or stand if you're standing) behind you. Next you show her how you do it yourself. Have her watch your pace and how you move your foreskin over the head assuming you like indirect stimulation.
Then ask her to take over with her same hand. Tell her to squeeze harder or softer if necessary.
The key here is that her hand is in the same position as yours would be. This can make all the difference.
If this doesn't help then you could try to have her finish you, so you do most of the work yourself.
Feedback is appreciated.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 The key to this is that you find it easy to do to yourself. Can you guide her to help you, and maybe if it's possible, to stimulate yourself to orgasm in front of her to show her how you're used to it being done?
Also, have you had sex together yet and are just taking a break, or have you not had sex yet? Are you feeling bad about your minor surgery, and that's weighing on your mind when you're intimate with her?
It's also possible that you're too used to your way of manual stimulation. You might want to try holding off on masturbation for a few days yourself in order to become used to her hand and her stimulation.
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