A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex and I used to be best friends and then we decided to go out together. they were the best months until once he told me that he is afraid of commitment. he feels trapped when he is serious.at the same time he does not want to lose me. he didn't know what to do so i told him to remain friends and that is what we are right now. we talk a lot (not about our past relationship). the thing is i don't want to lose him. what can i do? is there a chance that one day will be together?
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 I wouldn't tell him, though, if it were me. I would give myself some space to heal - away from him - and work on getting over him. He said he felt trapped when you were with him - he knew you cared about him at the time...
Telling him how you feel is unlikely to change anything.
If you disregard this advice and do tell him, do so with the expectation that you won't hear what you want to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI miss him so badly .. should I tell him what I'm feeling?
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (9 September 2011):
There is a chance, but not likely. Certainly, if there is a chance, I wouldn't be thinking about it or wondering at it; it's not healthy in that it keeps your heart and mind on him and closes you off from other opportunities.
When I have dated someone I still have feelings for and I carry on a friendship with them afterwards, which is important to me, I still try to give myself space for healing and 'moving-on'.
You can pretend with him that all is well and you are happy, but you don't have to pretend with yourself. Be good to you as you assimilate the break-up.
:-)
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