A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I are proper close. I love her to pieces, I really do. I would do anything for her. But sometimes I've noticed that certain things that I do for her (like give up spare time to help her, spend money on her, give her things, etc) she doesn't do back. I don't do them to get something in return, but she really doesn't do anything, and doesn't appreciate anything I do. It's like a one sided friendship.I introduced her to a few friends I hang with outside of school, and I'm starting to think I'm only her friend when nobody else will go out. She insists I'm her best friend, but when we're with other people, she pays no attention to me whatsoever. I'm not a clingy person, but she acts as if I'm not even in the room.She always has a fit when I tell her someone I like, saying that they're disgusting, why do I like them, etc. But then I find out that two months later, she starts liking them too. Then, she does everything possible so I don't get with that person. I don't even do that! I'd be sad if she dated the person I liked, but I wouldn't stop her from doing so. Then she goes around moaning that nobody likes her, she hates the way she looks, etc, when really, everybody likes her and she's dead pretty. So everybody pities her and takes her side when something bad happens.Little things I notice are starting to add up. Like she'll say she isn't going out, but then when I go round my crush's house, she's there. Then when I arrive she gets really mad and goes into a mood. She tells my crush things that aren't true about me or twists my words to make me seem like a bad person, but insists she doesn't and that I'm being paranoid.She really makes me upset sometimes, but I love her so much, I can't even imagine my life without her in it. I don't know why, because it's not like she's there for me when I'm sad or when something really bad happens. Is she really a friend? Am I being paranoid? What is her deal, seriously?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): Your friend takes advantage of your kindness and doesn't respect you. While you make time for her, spend money on her, and do things for her out of the kindness of your heart, she just keeps on taking and taking. Stop doing that for a week and see if she notices. Come to her with a problem for a change and see if she is there to help YOU out. Say, " (name), I have a problem and only you can fix it..." and then go on to see if she listens or cares. I know it is difficult to let go of friends, but remember that friendship is a 2 way street- where there is equal taking and giving. It sounds like your friend just needs/wants attention and like the other poster said, you may just have to sit her down and talk with her. But also be prepared that your friend may not change- then you'll have to decide if you can keep giving, giving, giving. You could focus more on her positive qualities rather than the negative things she does, just so you don't begin to resent her for not being a good friend. It's up to you. I've had friends like the one you have, and it is frustrating and you don't want to hurt them by moving on from them, but sometimes you just have to. Best of luck!
http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Society-Career-Power/Love-thy-frenemy
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends
A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (19 November 2009):
 She is either attention seeking or two faced... or maybe both!I would try talking to her, properly, don't let her interrupt you, and tell her exactly how you feel.I have had friends similar to this, and they're really not worth it, because they're not your real friends, they just keep you as a side thing for when other people don't have time for them.I'd say find yourself a friend who is there for you when you need her, and who doesn't try to stop you from getting a boyfriend!Good luck
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