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female
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anonymous
writes: My friend, now love, is moving to another country. He has always been honest with me and says he will be back often.I want to give him time to have his fun, and me time to grow and learn about life before I go overseas to visit him. We do love each other but he seems to expect that I will fall in love with someone else.
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male
reader, heteloto +, writes (20 July 2005):
I just think the fact that you write about how much you love each other so much...we'll it sounds like your trying to convince yourself of that.
If he thinks he's afraid you will fall in love with someone else, he is probaby just displacing his fear of falling in love with someone else himself, on you.
cheer up, try it out. But dont get stuck in a situation where you end up trapped and afraid to move around.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2005): Is this move permanent? I am assuming you are both quite young..late teens or early 20's? I ask about age because sometimes younger folk just beginning their independant lives away from family and home- want to experience fun and adventure before settling down and that is healthy and normal. Long distance love can work but that depends on the strength & committment level of the two people involved. From the tone of your letter, it sound like both of you maybe..want to tone this relationship down a notch or two and I think that is wise. Always expect the unexpected...especially at your youthful ages where life has to be lived to the fullest. There are no guaruntees you won't meet someone else...him living in another country is a long ways away..and some people do drift apart. Good luck in your relationship and I hope you do get out there and have fun. Life is short and youthful vigor and health is a blessing. Enjoy
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (20 July 2005):
 Hi long distance,
My take on this is...and it is from experience...is that you are right to give him his time to have fun and to grow. While doing this though ..remember that you guys are away from each other and that the world is a big place and that anything can happen. I know you love each other a great deal. Him expecting you to fall in love with another person...that is just men and their insecurity. They will always be like that. You guys should sit and talk about what you expect from each other...see where you both want to go and how to make it work. Loving alone cannot make things work. Communication and compromise is involved too. So if you guys want to make this work...work on it. Talk about how you feel....then you will know where either of you stand.
Hope things work out hun...Ana
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