A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is rather embarrassing but i'm not sure what to think of this ... so me and my bf of a year have been trying new things in the bedroom relentless to say i don't know why but i don't like it when he goes down on me ....i know its weird but for some reason it doesn't feel good..not that it hurts or anything but I've had a past relationship where my ex would do it too and even then i didn't like it maybe i'm not as sensitive there as most girls but most of the time i just end up letting him do it cause he wants to and i just fake it .. is there something wrong with me why doesn't it feel as orgasmic as most people say it does ..? could he be doing it wrong ? i always figured this to be the problem but i'm really starting to think its just me cause after 2 long relationships and several times of them going down on me and still no real satisfaction ...it must be my vagina is just broken or something .your input would be greatly appreciated
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my ex, orgasm, vagina Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey you guys thanks a lot for your help ..its been duly noted now that faking it isn't helping the situation and that a real sit down talk should be had with me and my boyfriend . so earlier today i decided to tell him that ..maybe he should try something different when he does it ..because i found that i can get an orgasm by myself without a problem but .. someone else giving me one is another story . he looked at it optimistically and ..thought of it as a goal for himself to help me get my 1st O with someone , but i'd by lying if i said he took it all that well he was a little disappointed because hes never really had a problem with other girls in the past... so i felt horrible ..one of you guys said that i could be feeling insecure and thats also it too i'm really subconscious i worry if it taste bad or smells bad but he says thats never the case and i know that i take care of it very well .so I've also made it a goal to relax a little and just go with it....
also anonymous reader who asked about my history if i had any trauma in the past i never really thought it would still effect me now that i'm trying to get a sex life but . i was raped when i was 16 on a blind date the Dr told me that because he had forced him self so hard that my vagina was so torn ,sore and swollen that it would bleed for a few days it took me while to get over it and i don't know if thats the reason why i wont allow men to get near my reproductive organs like that its been a 3 years now and i'm 19 i thought i'd be over this by now .. but i guess not .
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): You are not broken, but you are inexperienced and have more to learn about yourself. Perhaps that is where to start, before working with another person.
Agree with prior posters, faking it is terribly destructive to sexual relationships. It does make a fool out of the other person.
There isn't anything wrong with you, but your sexual life isn't what it could be and you need to figure out why that is, then have a sexual life that is meaningful.
Any history of trauma, neglect, abuse, sex abuse, rape, abandonment, etc?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 February 2011):
 1. women are all different. Some take longer to orgasm, some don't at all, and some know their own body so amazingly well they can come almost by mere thought.
2. how will the guy know if he's doing it right or wrong when you fake it? Stop the faking, really. You're only teaching him bad moves and habits, as well as fooling him.
3. there is nothing wrong with you. Accept this as who you are: you don't feel much or any joy at all from oral sex. The sooner you come to accept this the sooner you can move on to figuring out what, if anything, does make you feel great.
4. TALK to your boyfriend about this. Don't be a mattress in bed, take control over your own sexuality and pleasure and TELL him that what he is doing doesn't feel too great, that you faked it all the other times, and that you'd like to work on finding something that actually does work for you.
Why on earth would you limit yourself this way by faking it and letting these guys go down there with no purpose. Perhaps they enjoy doing it and you could let them if that's what they want, but why on earth make them into fools by faking it, pretending that you enjoy it. Stop the charades, and open your mouth to speak the truth so you can move on to something more worth your time.
ps. most likely you are both doing it wrong. He never learned how to do it because of your faking, and you never learned to do it because you thought it was all supposed to happen by itself. Read up on how to achieve an orgasm. It's a lot of mental work in there for us ladies to get there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): For me (I am female), I used to be insecure that I didn't taste good, or that I didn't look "normal" (I had never seen anyone else's vagina before).. I couldn't relax and let myself go because I was afraid I was different or that he was only doing it because I wanted him to. Look at it this way: he wouldn't do it if he didn't want to... alot of men love doing it, let yourself go and try to relax. If you are tense or nervous you won't enjoy it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): No it's not broken they just don't know what they're doing and by faking it they're actually not going to learn how either because they think they're doing it right.
Have you found a way of giving yourself and orgasm with your hand? You see OP every woman likes to be touched differently, every woman needs a different kind of stimulation. Some need hard fast stimulation of the clitoris, some need it soft and gentle. Some need their vulva stimulated. It's kind of a precise procedure so if you haven't already you need to experiment on yourself first and see what floats your boat. Once you have done that you can show your boyfriend what to do. Please stop faking it, faking it is stupid and frankly the only reason your boyfriend goes down on you is to give you pleasure and if that's not happening then what's the point?
So experiment, find you buttons then translate that to the oral sex. Really OP, they're just doing it wrong because you haven't shown them how to do it right.
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