A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello cupid.i have a question :- Is my cousin interested in me?so here is my story :-for the past few days, whenever am online on fb he is always chatting with me and he usually sometimes call me names like :- beautiful and sweetheart. i spent the last weekend at his place. my other cousin, he and i make a plan to go to the seaside. he did not want to go but on my request he accepted to go. at the sea side while my other cousins was away, he and i sat and was gossiping together for at least some 30 minutes. i wonder how he has kept so much time with me when he is a guy that does not like to stay in one place. on top of that he sat a bit close to me. the next thing i noticed is that he sat near me in the bus while returning home leaving my other cousins who sat on separate benches alone. why did he choose to sit near me when other benches was free?.he even paid my bus fare. after that we went to a restaurant, he again sat near me when there was other seats available and paid for my food. when i returned him his money he said keep it with you i'll take it later. eventually after that i did not meet him as he had gone to a wedding but then i had leave the money with his mum and just informed him about him. he was like oh what there was need of all this?what do you guys think about his behaviour? is he interested in me? he is also actually single. and please no comments about us being cousin and impossible marriage and so on
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female
reader, alice0110  +, writes (28 November 2010):
its a difficult situation as hes your cousin. yeah, he calls you beautiful, but hes your family so its impossible to say either way. just be yourself around him and dont make the first move, at least you are aware that he may have other feelings. but, paying for you isnt a sign that hes 'into' you, maybe hes just at the stage in life when he is closer to his family. yes he maybe giving signs which would indicate that he likes you but dont read too much into it, hes your cousin
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): It really does sound as if he's attracted to you, calling you 'beautiful', wanting to pay for stuff for you... these are major indicators.
I'm not going to say that because he's your cousin it would be wrong, because I don't believe that. I do think though that given that he's part of your family, it's better to be very cautious because if anything does happen, this could have consequences. Possibilities are:
- your parents, or his parents, could be really against it. It could cause wider family issues, awkwardness etc. Imagine that family Christmas with this hanging over everyone's heads. A lot of people would feel uncomfortable with a situation like this.
- he's family, and that's permanent. I mean he's still going to be your cousin in ten years, twenty years, you'll still be seeing him. He's not just a friend or a random guy where if it goes badly, you just move on. Things could get complicated and that trusting 'family', simple relationship could be damaged. Think about how you might feel in the future. It has the potential to become something you feel embarassed and regretful about for years to come; you're so young and it would be a shame to create a bad situation that you then have to live with into the future.
I'm not saying your feelings are bad, or that they don't mean anything. I think this kind of thing is common and I was once in a similar situation, although nothing happened and I'm glad now that it didn't. It's a time in your life when you're very curious about the opposite sex, and he's someone you love and feel safe with (but at the same time, he's your cousin so he's one step removed from it being something 'sick'). It's very natural for the two of you to feel attracted but my advice would be to think about the long term possible consequences and just be careful you don't get hurt. Maybe try and talk to your mum about it, if you think she would be understanding. Or a teacher at school. Sometimes it can be really helpful to get an older person's opinion, anonymously.
It's not wrong though. And yes, he probably does 'like' you.
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