A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hiiii :)So I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and things are really going great, I love him so much and vice versa. We did move in pretty quickly together because we couldn't face being apart during the first lockdown in the UK but it's actually worked out so well and we both really love each other. We both got put on Furlough which to be honest neither of us really minded as we both hate our jobs and it gave us an excuse to enjoy a rampant sex life at home for a few months. He admitted from the start he had a very high sex drive and some days we could do it easily 4 or 5 times.But when I went back to work obviously that had stop somewhat. I tried my best to keep up our great sex life but it was harder because of work and I was more tired each day. My boyfriend is still on Furlough so doesn't have much to do with his life with COVID restrictions and having to stay at home. I know he masturbates when I'm not there, he freely admits it. He's not into porn and says he just fantasizes about me when he masturbates. It's never really bothered me because it doesn't affect our actual sex and I know if he's doing that it means he's not going out cheating.I am worried though because he says he struggles to go more than a day without an orgasm. This was even before coronavirus and there was much more to do in life. He said he gets so horny he goes crazy. He was honest and says he needs at least 3 orgasms a day to be fully satisfied. This can't be normal can it? I'm beginning to wonder if he is a sex addict. What do you all think? xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2021): 4 or 5 times a day is a lot but it's a lot of healthy activity. You BOTH HAVE very healthy appetites. You just don't have the time anymore. There is nothing wrong with him.
We did it 3x a day till 40 and we both worked. Thank heavens for Sesame Street.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2021): Yes from the sound of things he might be, though being stuck at home all day doesn't help matters at all, but I know there is nothing much you can do about this at the moment with the lockdown in the UK. Does he know when he can go back to work yet? I think maybe he is just overly bored at home on his own. I admit I was the same during the first lockdown as well. I'm single and live on my own and when I was put on Furlough I found myself masturbating a lot more because it was something else to do. I'm guessing it's just a guy thing. Maybe he needs to try and find a hobby he can do at home to take his mind off it?It's good that you don't mind that he masturbates a lot. Like you said if he is fantasising about you then what is the problem? It just shows how attracted he is to you and that he hasn't even considered cheating on you. You both sound like you are in a good place, good luck to you :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (18 February 2021):
IF he can manage whatever he had to do during the day (I presume he keeps the house and stuff, since you work) - if he can manage still being intimate with you, and in general do fine - maybe he is just running on a really high level of libido. Some people do. Especially in their 20's.
You can condition your brain to many things. He says he NEEDS 3 orgasms a day, well that is bullshit. He WANTS 3 orgasms a day. BIG difference.
Is he a sex addict? I don't really think so.. He is convincing himself that he NEEDS x orgasms a day and that does sound like a "addiction" but I think it's more about the word usage - he says NEED but means want. No one had dies from lack of sex or orgasms.
Sex addicts quite often are very promiscuous, and do dangerous things in order to fulfill the addiction. They literally are NOT in control. You say he doesn't cheat, he doesn't use porn. He just like to polish his nob 3 times a day at least.
With that said, we can't DIAGNOSE him as being one or not being one.
I think I would suggest to him that he TRIES to have some self control here, not let his dick be in charge. What happens when he goes back to work? Will he have to take "jerk off" breaks? I mean seriously! He needs to push himself a bit.
However, I think he is a guy in his 20's with a high sex drive. Doesn't mean he can't LEARN some self-control.
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A
female
reader, CarrieSoa +, writes (18 February 2021):
 If he was a sex addict, he would be cheating non stop, paying for sex, watching porn, paying for porn. He would be doing a lot of seedy things to fulfill his addiction so you can relax, he isn't a sex addict.When he tells you he isn't into porn, that is a little white lie. Everyone watches porn. Most men would have sex several times a day if they could. It doesn't make them an addict. When I was off work during the first lockdown, my partner and I were intimate everyday. When I came back to work then it reduced to 3 times a week. It just seems a lot to you because you have returned to work and his need for sex has not lessened. Talk to him about how much pressure he puts on you to have sex when you are tired and been working all day. You guys have to have these conversations and come to a realistic compromise. If you don't then it will make you resent him.
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