A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong to want to have a long engagement? I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2.5 years and yesterday I proposed. This is something that she's wanted for a very long time and its something that I really wanted to do when I did. I want our engagement to last close to 2 years before we get married. Right now I don't have a job and we don't live together but she wants us to get married in the next year. Am I wrong to think she wants this to move to fast? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): no, you are not wrong and Rifraf and the others made a good point, that you really need to know eacht other well enough befor you'll get married!
But just one personal point: As soon as one is engaged, it is time to set the date and to plan the wedding. So for me, it is normal to be engaged for half a year up to 1,5 years, but not much longer. The only point I can see why to people will have a long engagement is, that they are still quite young, together allready for over 4 or 5 years and the know, the want to get married, but because they are both still students and don't have the money for it for the next 2 or 3 years, they have to wait for their big day.
That is what I think and it could be, that your girlfriend also thinks a similar way about that.
I think: why propose if he is not ready to get married? Engagement is not only for fun, it takes some responsabilities with it!
A
female
reader, Blondy +, writes (2 August 2009):
 No you're not wrong. In my opinion what you are doing is very smart. Why rush into it? I REALLY REALLY want to know the man I marry. My boyfriend and I are doing the same thing. We set our wedding 3 years before it is to happen. As of now its about 2 years away and I am fine with it. He's bought me 2 engagement ring, so we definately are engaged, but we are taking our time. I'm not in a big hurry and I definately don't want to rush into marriage. I want it to last forever and I am taking my sweet time to make sure I really want to marry him. We are both 19 right now and I don't want to be a 19 year old bride. But we are living together and kind of 'pretending' to be married. We just haven't actully got married yet...in all honesty we practically are. I think its really smart to make sure that you can handle being around eachother all the time BEFORE you get married.
Best of luck to you and I think what you are doing is really smart.
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