A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started seeing a guy a few months back and I thought he was lovely but it was nothing serious. At the time I was still really good mates with my ex and a few times he came round and it felt like we were still together, we ended up having sex and although I felt guilty, it happened a few times after that while i was still seeing the other guy. After a couple of weeks I felt so bad and told my ex I didnt want to see him anymore. I carried on seeing the lovely guy and didnt tell him what had happened. we became more and more serious, and now 5 months later we're still together. he is truely amazing and im happier than ive ever been, but occasionally i feel like i should tell him what happened at the start of our relationship...Is it wrong to keep it quiet now that we're so in love or is it best not to mess up our relationship over something that was stupid and happened before we really got to know each other? I know for a fact i would never cheat on him now we've got to know each other...
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brokenandconfused  +, writes (6 February 2009):
 it may seem wrong but i say don't tell him what he soesn't know won't hurt him. you weren't serious at the beginning of the relationship so leave that part out until he asks for the truth.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): rhythmandblues2, we are an official couple, he asked me a few months back (after all this happend obviously)
thank you both for your advice xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): I totally agree with rythmandblues2, What you would be doing is hurting him to ease your conscience! Keep it to yourself, and learn from your mistake. In time you will forget about it too.
If you told him, it could destroy an amazing relationship. For what? One night of indescretion, and poor choices? No, this is better left Off the table!
Good Luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): I wouldn't say a thing to your new boyfriend. By the way are you two seeing eachother exclusively or are you just assuming that because you have been together 5 months that he would never see anyone else? Unless you have had the talk (and he ought to be the one to do that, not you) that you are exclusive, then you can date whomever want, but not sleep with whomever you want.
Since this started at the beginning, I don't think you did anything wrong, really. And telling him would be making you feel better, getting rid of your guilt, but it serves no purpose other than that. Loading off your guilt is like throwing your partner a hot potato and saying now you deal with it! It isn't fair and won't help your relationship at all. You learned how you really feel about him now and you would never do anything to hurt him on purpose it sounds like, so give yourself a break and kip your lip zipped.
...............................
|
