A
female
age
41-50,
*oraatuha
writes:am tired of taking care of everyone else, and when it comes to seek for help, no body seems bothered.in my relationship with my bf, am like the guyi pay for all the bills. in fact i haven't paid my rent bill for last month, but am not whining like my boyfriend does when he runs broke.and when some thing in the house is spoiled, am the one who has to go out of my way to fix it.all my sisters depend on me. Generally being the first born is hard.i know am strong, but i guess even the strong ones really have it after some timemy parents expect me to be the strong one.i have been entangled in all this, that i forgot knowing how to have funso i have decided not to pick any of the above calls for a week, since every time someone calls, they are asking for help.and on Saturday am going partying...is it wrong? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, peanut_gallery  +, writes (9 May 2013):
Please read what you are saying. They have dumped so much guilt on you that you feel bad about going to a party?
The worst part about all this is that the more they come to rely upon you, the less able they are to take care of their own problems. It's a very negative spiral. Everyone needs to be independently capable and strong and come together in times of true need. They should not constantly chip away at a person who is so dedicated to helping them.
No, being the first born means you are the first born. It means nothing else. The rest is old school claptrap that just gets passed around.
Just for kicks, why don't you start asking for help and see how they respond. Don't be surprised if they resent you during the transition phase.
Lose the bf. All of this wasted energy should have been channeled towards your your life, your hobbies, your husband, significant other or perhaps children of your own etc., etc. Make sure you find a person with gainful employment and self respect who treats you well.
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