A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal to want kids, but not want the sex or the husband? People say i'll grow out of this feeling but i am not sure whether i will. I would love to be a mother but a sex slaving wife, no thanks. Is what i am feeling normal as i am not a child no longer nor have i had any bad sexual encounters ... i am 23. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bluntasaspoon +, writes (4 September 2008):
 i recon that u have had a bad relationship with someone(mum probably?) and u dont want to make the same mistakes as she/he did? dont worry about that as we learn from our's and others mistakes. dont be afraid of having children with or without someone, u will know when the time is right for u. my mate is 38 and she didnt want kids at all up untill about a yr ago, so it goes to show that peeps can change there minds and i hope that u will
luv bluntasaspoon x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, i didn't mean i wanted a kid right this minute ... some where down the line hopefully i'll be blessed with one or more. I have no intentions of trying to get a child by hooking up with any random guy nor am i at the stage where i require medical intervention. I am only 23 ... if i still feel like this is a few years time, i was thinking more aloing the lines of adoption if i was on my own and was stable money wise. I guess its just the commitment to a guy that scares me .... and yep, my parents didn't have the best relationship. I was sort of rasied by a single parent therefore thats really all i've ever known, and at this point ... all i could offer. I am sure i'll figure it out oneday.
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A
male
reader, johnaddison22  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 I beieve that this is very normal these days. It is very healthy to have a good sexual relationship with your spouse, and if not it most times leads to infedelity, and or Divorce, when you dont. A woman is not a sex slave, she is a partner in everything, including sex. I am learning that sex is not everything, but when you need to feel needed, then in alot of cases that is the only thing that helps. If you want the child but not the responsibility of a husband, then you should go to a doctor and have them medically get you pregnant. See the problem is if you have a child you will never get rid of the guy completely, and it sounds as if that is what you want. Dont hurt someone for your own needs, I am not being rude, just brutally honest. I think that you have a big decision to make about your life, and I wish you the best of luck.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 You're not going to be a sex slaving wife if you don't want to be one. Nobody's going to force you. The reason why you probably think like that is because you've seen it before (sometimes from our parents).
It's something that could be discussed with your husband or boyfriend.
Personally, I would love my wife to be a stay at home mom because I know she would raise our children properly when I'm not home (instead of having a babysitter doing it for us).
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A
female
reader, SuperSammie +, writes (20 August 2008):
 nah, this is normal, it might just be a phase, it might not.
it's up to you, give it a bit more thought. many woman feel like this, they want a child, someone who will offer you unconditional love and the responsability and the feeling of being a mother.
but they don't want the husband to go with it, many woman want to be a single parent, and many woman hate sex (u sound like u don't really like sex)
its perfectly fine, and if you feel you are deffinatly ready for a baby, but not the familly (after youv given it more thought) then go for it.
dont let other people change your mind, if its what you really really want, go for it.
and in the future, if you decide you have the kid and now the kids a few years older, you want the husband... you'll find a decent guy who won't mind bringin up your child.
but its normal to feel like that.
hope that helps
S x
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A
female
reader, bluntasaspoon +, writes (20 August 2008):
completly normal hun. but in all honesty it is like that for the first few yrs then u kinda find ur groove, me n my hubby bin together 6 yrs got 2 kids under 4 and we have only just realised that it works a lot better if we treat each other as equals. i dont think that u will grow out of this feeling tho but u need to understand that all us mothers are by no means sex slaves (i wish!!!). i hope this helps
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