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Is it normal for my boyfriend to be getting turned on by this?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend watches a lot of the BDSM type porn. The other night, we were in bed watching TV. I tried to intiate sex, but he claimed he was too tired. We were watching a criminal investigative type TV show. They showed clips of a girl that tied up and being sexually tortured. All of a sudden, my boyfriend got a huge hard on. I asked him coyly what brought that on and tried to act on it... he said he was just thinking about us and blah blah. He turned my advance down and went soft ... only to get hard again when they showed more clips! THEN he excused himself to the shower. When he came back I asked him flat out if it was the show that got him all turned on.. he denied and said no, that he was just thinking about us. I'm sure he took care of himself in the shower....

... I just don't know what to do anymore. It disturbed me that he got turned on by that ... Is he normal? I know some guys like the S and M type ...but the TV show clips were just awful!

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (21 April 2010):

TimmD agony auntPeople have weird fetishes sometimes. This is why you see tons of different porno films out there doing such crazy things. It's a way for guys (and girls) to watch the things they may get turned on by without actually living it in real life.

It doesn't sound like anything you should be overly alarmed by.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

That may be his fetish. It isn't that he is messed up in the head, but I do find it odd that when he was aroused that he wouldn't act on it. Maybe it is that you were pushing for that. Usually if a guy gets off on S&M type stuff it is actually the dominance thing that does it. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to role play the submissive and see if it helps your sex life.

I get aroused by some images that I feel many would find disturbing, but the difference is that I would not act on them. Fantasy is a place that you can let go of inhibitions and be something you are not in reality. It just sounds like your BF's fantasies are interfering with his reality.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

It was probably a one time thing don't worry everything will be fine

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