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Is it common to think about people other than your partner during sex/while masturbating?

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Question - (11 July 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it okay to fantasize and masturbate thinking about people other than your partner? (my guess would be that most people would say yes) But is it morally okay to think of other people while you're having sex with your partner? Is this something that couples do when they get a little bored with being with the same partner?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 April 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntYikes, talk about a loaded question!!!

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A male reader, curious-borg United States +, writes (14 April 2011):

Yes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007):

Interesting, so Mr. Anon below thinks that all Chinese people drive badly too eh? [wink]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007):

Most men do it and how on eart do our wives know anyway...all the men who say they dont are liars

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2007):

love-him agony auntTo be honest chick, when i am having sex with my boyfriend i think about him, and it would be truely hard not to. I would suggest if you are thinking of someone else then you are bored and need to move on, as you and your partner werent meant to be? I hope i helped & good luck. Mail me if you would like to talk x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007):

Personally, it's difficult to fantasize about someone else while I'm making love to my partner. In fact, the times I wanted to test this theory was when I was having sex with my partner, I tried thinking about someone else, and that actually turned me off.

Masturbation on the other hand is just sexual relief. Say I get horny one night, I might look at some porn to get me aroused, but when I'm looking at porn, I try to find someone who resembles her, then when I near a climax, I would close my eyes and think about my partner - most of the time.

As far as morality goes, I'm either or, but of course, it's not a great feeling to know that my partner masturbates to other men, and only to other men. If she uses it as an initiation factor, I think I'll be cool with it.

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