A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What to do when the one you love doesn't love you in "that way". I am in that situation now and it sucks. The guy in question is my best friend and we've crossed the lines to be more the friends at times, so there have been mixed signals. I believe he truly cares about me but is not in love with me. He tells me I'm amazing. He listens to me and is really supportive. It's hard because we're so in sync about so many things. He has medical issues, so I was sort of led to believe that's why he didn't want to be with me and complicate my life. And I thought I was okay with that, and we settled into a nice friendship. I thought I had put my feelings to rest. Now I have reason to believe that he may be a closeted bisexual. Somehow his rejection was easier to take when I thought he was protecting me from getting involved in a complicated situation then the real reason is that he just doesn't desire me. That really hurts. I know he doesn't owe me anything... it's his life and he can share as little or as much with me. I've always felt that there were parts of himself that he walled off, and I am glad that is not just my imagination. So I guess I am lucky to not be in a complicated relationship with him, but I still have moments of feeling like an unloveable loser. Hopefully that will pass and I can move on to less one sided relationships. How can I get beyond this and do I press my friend to see if he is willing to be honest about his sexuality?
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female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (29 November 2007):
 As they say honesty is the best policy.
It sounds as if you are very close. Yes i would address the matter but back off if he chooses that he doesnt want to talk about it.
Let him know that you have this inkling and if he chooses to talk then he will.
Also i suggest that you tell him off your feelings an ste the record straight finding out once and for all if you have a chance.
What you need to think about also is how do you feel about his possible sexuality, is it soemthing that you feel you can be suportive in and continue to be the friend he has?
Also if he says that yes you have a chance before getting into a relationship there are a lot of things that need to be looked into.
Good luck
Peaches
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