A
female
age
36-40,
*ellezora
writes:He told me that him and his ex are over, but they have a kid together.We've been together 6 months, but I've noticed a few things:1. He told me he doesn't have MySpace page. But I found it- He's logged in very recently, and he's had it for over 2 years. Why would he lie about that?2. When we first met, he told me his tattoo was of his daughter's name- but I've never heard him address her by that name and I recently found out that that's the name of her mother!3. He's told me that they are no longer together and that it didn't work out. But she lives in his hometown (where he has his house) (he only works in my town) and she drives one of his cars (I wasn't upset about it bc they share a child), but she also had and may still have access to one of his bank accounts.4. When I found his Myspace page, she is #1 on his Top Friends.5. He also has two cellphones.6. He works in pipelining, so he's always busy. He works a couple of weeks out here, and then when he's off of work he usually heads to his hometown for a couple of weeks.His status on his page says In a Relationship, but is he talking about me? or Her?The last time she commented on his page was a little over a year ago, so maybe they aren't together and she's just on his Top Friends because she's the mother of his child. But if that's the case, then why would he lie about not having a page!?There's so much chemistry and connection there, and he does stuff for me and says stuff that a guy wouldn't do if there wasn't anything there- but it could all just be an act!!I just don't understand why he would lie about something so stupid, I've only ever been understanding. I'm really easy going and I've never nagged him about anything he does, he knows I trust him 100% and wouldn't make a big deal about his freaking MySpace, so I'm wondering if I do trust him too much.Is he just stringing me along? Am I just a convenient fling so he can have someone while he's away from home working? What should I do? Should I confront him? How?I feel so stupid.
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female
reader, AngellicaWaters +, writes (27 September 2009):
 You are not stupid, you are just a person looking for love and that isn't anything to be ashamed of.Unfortunately this sounds to me like a classic case of cheating and his job being in a different town from where he lives is making it very easy for him to do this. Have you been to his place? If not, this is another red flag. Have you met his child? If not, after 6 months together that is another one. Has he introduced you to his friends or family or coworkers? He should have by now.Someone who is open and honest wouldn't hesitate to share these parts of themselves with someone they have been with for 6 months, unless it's just a casual relationship and not something they plan to make long term. Either get proof that he is lying to you about more than the myspace page or confront him calmly about the myspace page and tell him you found it without accusing him.Tell him that it bothered you to find it and that you are not more included in his life. Ask to meet people in his life and tell him that you need more openness in the relationship. See how he responds, if it's not favorable, he is probably hiding things from you. Don't stay with him if this is the case, but before you make your decision a permanent one, get proof. I hope this helps. It's not an easy situation to be in, but it's a good life lesson for you and hopefully you will never let someone betray your trust again.I wish you the best.-Angellica
A
female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (27 September 2009):
Go visit him in his hometown meet the daughter and ex. See for yourself if he won't allow it than he isn't that serious about you yet or he is keeping his options open. Having two cell phones working alot being gone from one place or the other for long periods all adds up to a situation where a man could have multiple relationships going if he wanted. So to protect yourself and your heart I would sort these questions out . Has he introduced you to his co-workers as a 'girlfriend' ? That would be a good sign but unfortunately I've known of situations where 'girlfriends' are considered temporary entertainment so just meeting them once or twice they might not mention it to you. But if he is a cheater one of those friends would drop a hint to you to either back off cuz he has a family or take care because he isn't serious with you. If he has isolated you from meeting his family or long term friends chances are he is cheating with you and is involved already. Oh...the my space thing ...unless he has a lot of friends and is very active I wouldn't worry about the omission as it now sort of comes with the email account automatically.
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A
female
reader, brownsugar33 +, writes (27 September 2009):
If you are feeling this way you need to leave because you are stressing yourself out take it for what it is, he is a compulsive liar,that dont know when to stop lying.But there is definetly a trust issue there that you two need to talk through or just decide to let it go.
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