A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I love my friend and he also loves me a lot but the problem is that he is not like others...he rarely calls me and send messages to me . I know that he loves me a lot. My question is that he is very different because lovers usually talks for hours and he says that this is stupid activity and wants me to be mature.I want to know whether he is normal or not? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): You can either accept him how he is or find someone who is your idea of normal. Firstly,make sure you arent simply trying to find things wrong with him,as surely he could find things about you that arent his idea of normal.
A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 Well talking IS mature, its a main element in a successful relationship, it doesn't mean he's not normal though, that's not really the appropriate word for this, different people want different things out of a relationship, he obviously doesn't want a close relationship here, where you talk and connect with each other that way. I dont question that he doesn't love you though. It's a difficult one. Him not getting in touch often, isn't a positive sign though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): Normal? I think you have a confused idea of what normal is.
All people are different, some people are more affectionate and intense, and call and message their loved ones, others are more emotionally distant and don't call or message those close to them.
You say with certainty that he loves you a lot, so why on earth are you asking whether he is normal?
It sounds like you two are just different in what you want to receive from each other. Either you need to compromise, or you're both in for heartache he'll feel you are too intense and you'll feel that he is too distant and doesn't care. Dating, especially at your age, is all about finding people who are most right for us.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 It's very difficult to say whether something is "normal" or "abnormal". And then, the word has so many different interpretations. Among cannibals, it was "normal" to eat human flesh. And then, we all have our little excentricities Is it normal to worry about your weight all the time? Is it normal to scream after your team scores? There you have it, normalcy defined.
I think that, rather, you want to be sure that his way of being does not mean he doesn't really love you. You know, love is manifested in many ways, and perhaps he is just much less communicative than others. I think his actions (other than his calling or texting, of course) show what he really means. And apparently he does love you.
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