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Is he lying about his true feelings for me?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 July 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Would a guy ever lie about his true feelings for a girl? I'm in all likelihood being foolishly hopeful, but it has been bugging me and I'd appreciate some input.

For the first time, I told a guy that I liked him, a huge feat for someone as shy and reserved as me. Of course I told him by use of a note, but nonetheless... he avoided me like the black death until the weekend, the beginning of which he promptly sent me an email saying he doesn't feel the same, "has a lot on his plate" and doesn't want to involve himself in anything. He also said he'd known for "quite a while". The latter was the biggest shocker.

If he knew, why did he act so friendly with me? Again, another thing he said in the message was that he was sorry if he came off as liking me. If. He did. He had to have known. Wouldn't it make sense to be a little less forward? Honestly.

I was almost positive he was interested in me. He'd always look at me, we exchanged a lot of emails, and the one or two times we were caught alone, he acted kind of goofy. I never figured he'd make a move because I perceive he's not that kind of person

Now, to make this next statement valid, you have to understand what kind of guy this is. He's quiet and private. He had self-esteem and weight problems a year or so ago. Is it possible he's just afraid of getting into a relationship with me, and lying for the sake of taking the easier and less-complicated route?

View related questions: shy

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntI guess that lads can lie about their feelings. The guy probably didn't say anything to knowing that you already liked him to save embarrassment or uncomfortableness on your part. He obviously still wanted to be mates with you.

The lad sounds like he was being a good friend. He's told you he wants to be friends as he can't handle a relationship right now. If he does have "romantic" feelings for you he obviously isn't ready to share them just now, and now you have confirmed how you feel to him he may show them. But then again he might not feel that way about you.

If you are sure he might like you as more than a friend ask him why he doesn't want to be with you. Just be careful about coming on too heavy and scaring him away.

xxxxxxx

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