A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been going out for a while now and he is a virgin and I am not. We have discussed having sex and have even tried a few times with protection but whenever we are about to he stops and doesn't want to try any more... Why is he doing this? I think he's just nervous but I want to try and help him not be so nervous, I just don't know how? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CrazyMind  +, writes (26 March 2009):
 It may not be that he's nervous - just that he thinks he wants it, nearly does it, and then is unsure.
If he's unsure - which he is - maybe it's that he isn't mentally read for a sexual relationship just yet.
Take a break from thinking, and trying, sex; and find something else to do for the time being. Talk openly about it, and try asking what it is exactly that makes him stop.
He may not be ready for it - in which case you should wait until he is. If you're not happy with waiting, then you're with the wrong person. A relationship isn't, and shouldn't be, about sex.
Alternatively, he may be ready for it, but doesn't think that right now is the right time. Is he religious at all, or does he have any religious influence on his life? You never know - he could be struggling with the 'sex-before-marriage: yes or no" - stopping because of the possible guilt he'd feel if he had sex.
May not be a religious input - could be something somebody has once said to him. If somebody has told him to make sure that his first time is special, this could be battling in his mind. It could be that he's actually unsure of your relationship and how things will go after sex. In this case, reassure him how you feel about him.
My advice is for you to talk to eachother - ask him directly what the issue is.
- Crazy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): you are under-age, so shouldn't be having sex.
what happens ?does he just go "stop" and you stop or does he soften or sturggle with condom.
I had a problem with condoms they just wouldn't sit right or ripped or came off. then i switched brands and they were brilliant... it could be something like that?
star.x.
...............................
|
