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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has been having a tough time lately. He moved out of his ex's home they shared with their kid. He says hes having trouble coping being away from his kid. He says he doesnt know what he want, he says he loves and cares for me but he doesnt want to hurt me. i asked him if he still wants to be with me and he said he doesnt know. I told him that i would help him through this but should i just walk away. I love him so much that i dont want to loss him. He started crying when i walk out my home and asked me not to go does this mean he wants me to stay or just stay coz hes upset?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 There's probably a lot going on in your BF's head. Think about it: he's split from his ex, he's separated from his child, he's living with someone new, and he's wondering if all this this is what he really wants!
It's going to be tough for you both for a while, as he untangles these strands one by one.
To my mind, you can help him start by encouraging him to see his child. Is his ex sharing custody, or will she allow him to take care of the child for an afternoon? See if this is an option, because it can help him with at least one of his concerns. Try to get to know his child on a friendly level, so that perhaps you can do things together with them.
All you can do is be supportive while he tries to straighten out his life. It might be weeks or months while that happens, but as long as he shows that he's making effort and/or progress, and you're still happy with your relationship, then try to give him the time he needs.
His tears are probably from fear and confusion. I know that this isn't what you had in mind when you moved in together, but he should slowly get over this. He just needs a place to start. Try to be patient.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 Well I think things are as he says and that he is pretty confused as to what he wants. Having said that, from what you write here, he is not missing his ex but just his kid so I think you should take heart from that. What you do is up to you but I would suggest that if you walk away its probably going to be hard for you to get closure and there is a good chance you will later regret it.
You have to be strong in this situation because it seems he can't. Having said that I know that this is easy to say sitting here - make sure you have support around you too from friends and family and make sure you keep your own strength up as well as supporting him since you wont be able to help him drained. Hope that helps. Take care.
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