A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my ex broke up a month ago and now she has a new bf. im pretty sure she is either attempting to string me along or hasn't let her feelings for me diminish because she shows no respect for he bf by calling me pet names, telling me i mean the world to her, and how she still needs me in her life (not as a bf just there) etc. she asks to hang out sometimes but when we do we are a little to comfortable (like sitting under covers together touching hands and almost kissing) but we never give in to these thingsi want her in my life but i cant stand to think that this new guy is the one for her maybe. i am also afraid that one day i will mean nothing to her. this is why im afraid of no contact. but i know that i have to if i want to move on. is being friends with an ex worth all of this if you know you will always want her as more than a friend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBoth ur answers were great! Thanks for sharing ur experiences with me too
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2011): My ex and I broke up a little more than a year ago. After she got a boyfriend, I broke off all contact with her. Facebook, phone number, email, etc. Later, she added me on fb again and I accepted. She ended up contacting me just a couple weeks ago asking to "catch up" and started texting me again. I was over her, she had a boyfriend and I was like why not? Nothing's gunna happen.
I went with my friends to a club and she went with hers to the same one just last week. She really wanted to dance and kept texting me to come dance. W/e I was drunk. We decided to take some shots and the drunkenness continued. We were acting just like we were when we were together. Holding hands, kissing throughout the night, and then a kiss goodnight (while she was still going out w/ her boyfriend).
I was never the one to initiate contact since then... she texted me nonstop for a little while and all of her texts were flirty. I thought I was over her. I never had a relationship, but I had "things" with other girls while we were apart and I wasn't thinking about her anymore... until that night.
You may wanna talk to her about it. If she's not over you, tell her you and her can't do anything if she's with somebody else. That's not fair to you.
Otherwise, I'd say cut off all contact. No use in worrying about her if she's with somebody else and just wants to drag you along while she's getting what she wants and you're the loser that thinks he's happy.
The only way I'd say being friends with an ex is worth it is if you two hung out with the same people before you were going out and still see each other when hanging out with mutual friends.
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